Are You Serious?!?

A few Are You Serious moments happened this weekend.

- The sales lady in Victoria Secrets do not think its funny when you ask for help looking for a bikini in plus sizes.
Sales Lady: Can I help you?
ME: Yes, I need a bikini for me.
Sales Lady: Are you serious? (You know she's thinking...What the Heck?)
ME: YES.
Sales Lady (drops her eyes and then looks back up): I don't think we have them in stock, mam. (She is probably thinking, I can't freakin believe that I get all the crazy people. Does this woman think she will look good in a bikini? Just cause they make it in your size doesn't mean you should wear it!)
ME: Oh. (I look around the store and back at her)Fine. I was just kidding anyway.
Sales Lady: Oh, good. (She's thinking in text now...OMG...TWC)
This girl was black and I believe that I saw her blush.

- Caladryl sets up like concrete on a fever blister.
What happened you all ask? Someone thought "Oh, I think I've got poison ivy under my nose, I'll put some caladryl on it." Wake up the next morning and it has set up like concrete. Painful coming off

- Talking about babies with the one we call...You are ruining my 13 year old life...can be hazardous to my health
YARM13YOL: I'm not going to have twins or triplets. I'm going to have FORTLETS.
ME: (Spitting and choking on my food) You are going to have what?
YARM13YOL: F.O.R.T.L.E.T.S. (she said it real slow because it was obvious I did not get it)
ME and Taylor in unison: What the heck is a fortlet?
YARM13YOL: Four babies at the same time, duh. (a considerable amount of eyerolling)
ME: That's quadruplets.
Taylor: Not me, I'm going to have just one at a time. Hey, Kaye Kaye, what do they call it when you have one baby at a time?
ME: (thought to myself...On, NO SHE DIDN'T!) O.N.E. C.H.I.L.D.
Taylor: Oh
YARM13YOL: Good to know.
ME: (thought to myself....I wonder if it is too late for Scotty on Star Trek to beam me up?)
Dianne: OMG

- Some people have no shame #1 and #2
#1 Lady walks in office, pulls up her dress, arranges panty hose looks over at me and says...Oh, I was just looking out the window to see if it was raining. ME: (thought to myself...oh really, is that what that was called? Glad I found out.)
#2 I'm in the lady's restroom at work with the door closed, no one could tell I was in the stall. Lady walks in, shuts the door, passes some very loud smelly gas, opens door and walks out. Never knew I was in there, until I walked out right behind her. Priceless look on her face.

The End.