Lies, Forgery & Confessions

Caution - Men - Beware - Female Talk Ahead!

Don't you just LOVE parent/teacher conferences? I DO.

Lies and Forgery

Teacher to Me: Have you seen your child's bring home folder lately.
Me: No, I haven't. I was told that I no longer had to sign a take home folder. (I was LIED to)
Teacher: Let me present some evidence. (FORGERY)

Teacher: Taylor did not get this signed. Mary Margaret signed it for her. (LIE)
Me:Oh, wow. I didn't know. May I look at this a little closer?
Teacher: That's yours to keep. I hear you are pretty good at the grounding thing and thought you might like this for evidence at home.
Me (with a confused look on my face): Ok, thank you. Does Taylor talk about them getting grounded?
Teacher: No. Mary Margaret does. We all know about how she finally earned back ONE shoe last year to a non matching pair.
Me: Oh really. Thanks for the evidence.
Teacher: My pleasure.

Confessions

Me to both girls: I'm wondering if there is anything I need to know before I present my evidence.
YARM13YOL: You need to know that I'm gonna say I didn't do it.
Taylor: Mary Margaret has something to tell you.
Me: YARM13YOL what is it?
YARM13YOL: I don't want to talk about it right now. (this statement leads to sex and period talk everytime)
Me: We'll sit right here until you tell me.
YARM13YOL: OK. You said that if you skipped a period, you are pregnant. I skipped one.
Me: (WHAT?? I just wanted the forgery confession!!) YARM13YOL, you did not skip one.
YARM13YOL: Yes I did.
Me: NO YOU DIDN'T. YOU JUST HAD YOURS.
YARM13YOL: I thought I finished Friday, it started back on Monday. I SKIPPED ONE.
Me: No, that happens sometime to every woman. You are not pregnant. And another thing...you have to have sex with a boy...have you?
YARM13YOL: WELLLL NOOOOO
(might I point out that she is either at school or with me so when could this have happened? Never thank you very much)
ME: All I wanted to know was who signed my name to a test folder.
Taylor: Mary Margaret did it. (LIE)YARM13YOL: (very high pitched) NO I DIDN'T

I had them both write my name down just to see....TAYLOR WON. She forged my name.
Confessed to it after she realized that her writing matched the one on the copied paper the teacher gave me.

I know that you all want to be me. I can tell.

Note to Carissa: I decided to combine the two posts so you don't have to wait to Thursday...Oh, by the way...Remind me that I need to order one of your bags...