Drama Truth

Brett called Mary Margaret this morning to tell her he broke up with Taylor for another girl.

He did not tell Taylor.

Tyler broke up with Mary Margaret last night for another girl.

Today is a sad day.

I'm living in Dramaville.

And These Are the Days of Our Lives

Chapter One
As the early this morning as the light streamed in the pink bedroom of one Baskeball SuperStar, Taylor Butler, she realizes that her world is crumbling around her. She realizes the dream that she had last night was not a dream, but a real life horror story. The scene replays in her head...
Man of Her Dreams texted her, "Um, im breaking up wif u". She still could not believe what she was reading. Could it be true? Would she make it through the day? After tossing and turning in her High School Musical Sheets and Butterfly comforter, she realizes that this will not be just a normal day at Wynne Jr. High.

Chapter Two
The Basketball Super Star, looking rad in her Old Navy peace pants, Jason Aldean Shirt and Northface jacket, is walking down the hall to her class. Her heart quickens, her pulse races, as the Man of Her Dreams heads towards her in the hall way, he looks up, their eyes meet, and they both turn and go in the opposite direction. She struggled to wipe away the tears and not shout out, "Why, just tell Why you don't love me anymore!". She was strong. She is beautiful. She is woman. She can make it through the day. As she walked down the hall, she felt the stares, everyone knows. Was she too fat, too loud, not pretty, not smart, did she accidentally fart when he was around? Would she ever know the truth, what could have been?

Chapter Three
After a grueling day at Wynne Jr. High, Basketball SuperStar's phone buzzes. Who would it be? Would it be her true love? It was. He was like, "hey" and she was like "hey" and he was like "hello" and she was like "hello. This deep conversation drug up all those tormenting unanswered questions. She could not go on living this life without knowing the truth. She must find out. She will do whatever it takes to find the truth...

Chapter Four
The phone rings, "hello" he says "hello", call dropped. Her heart races as she tries to call him back. Could this be the call that explains it all? Down the big hill and into cell range.

With unanswered questions still looming she retreats back to her comfort zone, Retail therapy. As her driver pulled up to the local shopping strip, her phone buzzes again. It is him, this time he's calling. He's like, "hey, whatz up?" and she is like "nothing". She's like, "just tell me why you broke up with me, I need to know". And then she was like, "hello, are you there? hello? Hello?" Call dropped. The phone buzzes. He's calling again. She is tired of the games, she asks one final time, "Just tell me why!" He was like "I have a reason, its....." she is like "hello, are you there? hello just answer me! Please" call dropped. Can you hear me now?

She is growing weary of the mind games and apparently her people from Verizon are not following as closely as they do in the commercials. Again, the phone buzzes, this time, she just doesn't care, she hands the phone off to let someone else deal with the DRAMA. Her talented, beautiful, smart, quick witted, high fashioned, yet down to earth ex-step-mother/permanent family member, answers that call. She says, "Helloooww?" In her best indifferent voice. He says, with confusion in his voice, "Is Taylor there?" The answer, "No, she's not, may I take a message?" He says, raising his voice an octave, "Hello?" Again, she says " Hello" He says, "Can I talk to Taylor?" The beautiful, quick witted, ex-step-mother looks to her left where Taylor stands, waiting and replies "I'm sorry she's running around shopping." "Oh" he replies. Call ended. She waits, no call, no txt. This looks like it could be the end.

Final Chapter
She starts to feel that the world has turned against her. She looks to her left and right and beings to notice a light straight ahead. It looks like a clearance sign. Could it be? Could it be those cute little blue shorts she has wanted? It is! It Is! And they are are clearance to $3.00. After finding the perfect size, she makes her purchase and heads home, lighter hearted and single again.

Will there be a sequel?
Tune in 2morrow and see...
These Are the Days of Our Butler Manor Lives

In other news, upon Alyssa's arrival, we surveyed the first loose tooth she has been sporting for several weeks. The BOSS of Butler Manor, Kaye, says, "come hear little girl and let me wiggle your tooth". Kaye is an experienced tooth puller and loose teeth get on her last nerves. Kaye looks in the little mouth, grabs the tooth, having no mercy, and pulls down hard. Out pops the tooth. There is lots of blood. Tons of Blood, but promises of the visit of the tooth fairy, and realizing that now she looks older, stops the flow of the tears.

Rainy Day News

We are floating away down here in Arkansas. Tim worked wrecks in the rain all night last night. I think he was home for about 3 hours before heading back out. I think they received their first HUGE tip last night. A dad of a teenage girl, MM's friend, tipped them $100. That's what I call a tip!!!

I wanted to write a funny post today. Things are not funny around here. It is serious.

Lucy is almost down for the count. I took her to get her oil changed this week and she came back with a list of things a mile long. Good news: My wipers are okay, my horn works, and so do my head lights. Bad news: Brakes don't work, brakes leak, tires shot, oil pan leaks, transmission pan leaks, need wheel bearings on the front, the back tire on passenger side (i think) is loose, and there is water in the floor board.

Our roof leaks.

Brett broke up with Taylor in a text message last night after she went to bed.

Mary Margaret is grounded for a bad grade and saying some really mean things to me.

Our electricity is out and my clothes are in the washer.

Good NEWS:
IT'S FRIDAY
TAYLOR MADE THE 7TH GRADE BASKETBALL TEAM!!!!!

Taylor just plugged up her phone and realized that it won't work because the electricity is out. Mary Margaret is laughing at her, should I remind her that she once said..."OMGosh the electricity is out, will the toilet still work". She SO SHOULD NOT BE LAUGHING AT ANYONE!

We are headed to the funeral home to blow dry our hair, only to get back out in the rain and get it wet.

Busy Weekend

Want to know what I've been up to?

Check this out.

ButlerDiariesHobbies

Not My Friend

The new Cannon Copier is not my friend.

I am not speaking to it ever again.

Okay, I might be over dramatizing it a little, teenzie, tiny, microscopic bit.

I'm not speaking to it again today.

That's better.

I think it knows I am annoyed with it and it is laughing at me.

So I turned off the power! Take that! Stupid office equipment!

I've Been Banned Part II

Do you recall that I was banned from certain office equipment recently at work?

Many of you had kinds words, encouraging words, and you lifted me up out of the bottoms of despair, as I was extremely sad that I was banned from the new label maker. I was seriously thinking about trying out for the depression commericals for cymbalta. You, my dedicated friends, saved me. I appreciate your support. SOME of you called to remind me to leave the office equipment alone, I'm not calling names, but the initials are Dianna Moore, she loves me. I got a few text messages that told me to "Step away from the label maker". I took your advice and I am doing better. I've only looked at the label maker, not touched it.
You all wanted to know, "What did you do?"

True Answer: NOTHING. I was breathing that day.

This is the new shinny label maker that I am banned from.

This is the label maker I am allowed to currently use. It's not as fancy as the new one and its all scratched up AND the cutter doesn't work that great.

If I don't dot my i's and cross my t's, or watch my p's and q's I could be reduced to making labels with this...

Yes, this label maker belongs to the funeral home and is still in use today. We have two of these.
Remember that I am banned from the simple office equipment...

BUT

I am allowed to use the NEW COPY MACHINE. Why? Because THEY, the MEN, do not know how to use it. They DEPEND on me to figure everything out and teach them, the MEN, how to use it. Also, the MEN, do not pay attention to ME when I show them how to use it. This causes the MEN to call my name 240,090,049,204,293 times a day, I think I might not have counted each time my name was called, so that could be an incorrect number.
New Cannon Copier that I am allowed to use.


The new copier was delivered Monday by a really nice young lady. She even brought us donuts. I thought after meeting her that we could be friends.

Until...

She started talking paper. Where it comes from, brightness, weight, how the extreme heat and extreme cold constricts the paper causing it to jam your copier. I could have pointed out that I knew about the heat and cold and suggested for the last 7 seven years that the attic was NOT the place to store our paper and NO ONE listened to me, probably because I did not graduate from PAPER COLLEGE. I knew that I should have taken that full scholarship to PAPER COLLEGE way back in 1992.

Look at all the fun I missed out on.

Go figure.

Survivor:D-Now

This past week has been Global Impact for Missions at church. The week ended with a youth retreat at Village Creek State Park, both girls went and had a blast.

I'm sure they stayed up late every night. Taylor said her cabin ate junk food all night Saturday. She stayed up until 11pm. This is a kid who is usually in bed by 7 or 8pm and if she's not in bed by then, the evil comes out.

Taylor came home with her Christmas list made out. Yes, she came home from a retreat with her Christmas list, that's just how this child works. She told Tim that she would be needing one of those trailers that has the rock climbing thing attached to it for Christmas and of course she would be needing all the ropes, a new rock climbing outfit, and rock climbing shoes.



Taylor gave up her nice bed for her leader. She slept on the pull out couch instead. This is big. Huge. Taylor is all about sleeping and sleeping comfortable.

Mary Margaret was all excited about the course her team played. They won Survivor D-Now and were treated to stake dinner for the prize.

Last night both girls were "Out Cold" by 6pm. I did what any normal "mom" figure would do, tucked them in their beds and kissed them good night took a picture of them snoozing and sent it to their boyfriends. Ha. The boys were burning their phones up until that point. I have to say that Taylor should be thankful that I did not video her snoring and pooting. Mary Margaret should be thankful that I did not send the one of her curled up in a ball like a baby sucking her thumb.

haahahahahahahahahah

Let me clear the air, M&M doesn't suck her thumb.

hahahahahahahaha

I Have Been Banned

I have been banned from the new label maker at work.

I do not know why.

I was going to use it yesterday, boss #1 said for me to put it back and use the old one because I was banned from the new one.

I am sad.

I like the new better. It's still shinny, has the most awesome cutter on it, it will do all kinds of fancy fonts and it's blue.

On the UPside...

Remember how way back in another post I told you that my boss #1 knows all about paper? The weight, brightness, etc?

I got a lesson yesterday, after I got banned from the labeler, on where paper comes from. Oak trees make the best slick paper that will not jam up our copier. That is what I learned. I listened for at least 45 mintues to a paper lecture. I also learned that even if your boss tears up the copy machine, it still is your fault. Just because.

Right ON!

Sandy sent me this email...
Ever wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phone?
What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?
What if we flipped through it several times a day?
What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?
What if we used it to receive messages from the text?
What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?
What if we gave it to Kids as gifts?
What if we used it when we traveled?
What if we used it in case of emergency?
This is something to make you go.....hmm......where is my Bible?
Unlike our cell phone, we don't have to worry about our Bible being
disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill.
Makes you stop and think where are my priorities?
And no dropped calls!

It's Fall Y'all, it make us Crazy

It's Fall Y'all! The cooler weather makes us crazy!!! There has been so much goofy junk going on here in Butlerville, where do I begin?

For example...tonight I took the girls to a new Mexican restaurant in town, they giggled the whole time. I was trying to have a serious conversation with them about proper behavior with their boyfriends. They laughed so hard they cried during some of the talk. I blame it on the weather, not the fact that I am 20 years out of the loop. They thought that it was seriously hooooo-larious that I didn't know what the V-card was. FYI: virginity card. Thought you all should be in the know.

The girls are growing up, fast. They have both officially been kissed by boys, nice boys. Mary Margaret and Taylor are so different. Taylor is very private and shy. I have to go to her room for private talks. Taylor said her kiss was two sweet quick kisses on the lips. I asked her if she was okay with the kissing thing and she said..."Wellll yeah". Thursday night I took them all to see Jason Aldean in concert. Taylor came prepared for the end of the night kiss. She said that she sneaked breath mints all night and a bunch right before we dropped her boyfriend off at house. She was NOT going to have stinky breath or crusty teeth. I laughed for a long time.

Mary Margaret on the other hand is going to be the death of me. She goes into way too much detail. I'm glad she still wants to tell me what's going on with her, but there such a thing as WAY TOO MUCH information. Let's just say that her kiss involved the game of tonsil hockey, twice, and she really really liked it. She was still high the next day from the game, strike that, she was still high a week later from the kiss. Her boyfriend asked her in a text message if I knew about them kissing. YES, I read the text messages. They were making fun of me because I am so old and I probably didn't even understand what french kissing was.

So...

I blew her mind...

And told her Tim and I know all about french kissing. Then I grossed her out and told her that I bet even meemaw and peepaw knew about french kissing. Sheesh...she was acting like she invented the kiss.

They don't eat in front of their boyfriends yet and vice versa8. Last night I let the boys come over to our house and watch scary movies. I ordered pizza. They all ate, maybe, two pieces of pizza. So I thought...
Mary Margaret tells me tonight that every time she got up to get more Pepsi, she was really going to the kitchen and stuffing her face really fast with pizza so she didn't have to eat in front of Tyler. She said that she ate three cheese sticks at one time while she poured her drink. Taylor said that she was doing the same thing.
Mary Margaret wants Tyler to think she works hard to keep her figure.

My friend Dianna said...She's keeping her figure and adding to it. So far, I've added a spare bedroom upstairs, two basements around the stomach area, a double wide on each leg and lots of acreage on my backside and there has been talk of a backup beeper being needed. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

I love it when the girls and I let loose and have fun goofy times like this. I'm gonna miss this when they've grown up and have families of their own.

Goofiness is in the air y'all and I LOVE IT.

A few pictures...
Taylor and Brett

Mary Margaret and Tyler

Mary Margaret, Tyler, Brett and Taylor
They THOUGHT these were our seats...

our seats at the concert were on the very top row were the spot lights were mounted. I was still able to get a few good pictures of Jason Aldean with my little kodak...

Cause You Had A Bad Day!

Ever have one of "those" days? You know the kind. The kind of day where you wake up and just know that no matter how hard you try, it is just not gonna be a good day.

My day was Wednesday.

6:30 am I did not sleep good Tuesday night, when I finally fell asleep, I overslept.
6:45 am I realized that I had forgotten to wash the clothes I wanted to wear.
7:21 am Tim said I never wash his clothes anymore.
Mary Margaret was stomping around all morning.
Taylor was moving three times slower than a snail all morning.
7:35 am Taylor tripped over Freckles on the sidewalk when we were leaving for school.
7:49 am Girls slam the van doors when they get out at school.
7:50 am I look down to find a quarter that I dropped and realize that...

I failed to finish painting my toes AND I was wearing open toed shoes AND we were gonna be busy at the funeral home.

I'm at work...
Tons of squabbles at work.
Tons of squabbles at work.
Tons of squabbles at work.
4:00 pm I leave work to take a kid piano.
4:05 pm I come back to work.
4:25 pm I leave work to take another kid to piano.
4:35 pm I come back to work.
5:00 pm I leave work to pick up last kid at piano. I will have to go back to work after dropping them off at church.
5:05 pm arrive at sonic
5:15 pm Car hop at sonic dumps a sprite in my lap.
5:30 pm arrive at work squishing sprite out of my shoes with my half painted toe nails.

5:50 pm I have finished with the family that was there for a visitation.
5:55 pm going over my bad day in my head. Reality Check.
I work at a Funeral Home.
The Funeral Home I work at has been extremely busy.
Someone is having a much worse day than me.
Time to stop complaining.