The C.I.A needs a Wii

The Japanese have come up with a new secret torture device. They began by marketing this product last year as a video game for kids and with the ultimate plan of getting them addicted and then moving on to the adults in the form of promises of FITNESS promises. It worked, everyone rushed out and bought a Wii and Wii fit, there are still some places that have a waiting list. I say this to those on the waiting list RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN. ITS A TRICK.

Maybe the C.I.A. should use the Wii Fit as a terrorist torture thingy. (technical term used here on this blog often)
Start with the Tree, then throw in a little standing knee/sitting chair technique, that should have the suspect quivering in their boots, I was and I wasn't even wearing boots. If that doesn't get them confessing, then by George whip out a little bit of the TRIANGLE. The suspect will confess to anything you tell him to confess to. I would.

This afternoon the girls and I walked the track. Some of Mary Margaret's friends were there, she thought she was going to get to play around, not happening. I'm a slave driver, if I've got to endure the torture, I'm not watching kids laze around. These little brain steeling, hormone explosions sat and watched as we walked, jogged, and climbed the bleachers with their mouths open. Take that retched teenagers.

Because I had not had enough humiliation/torture I decided to whip the Wii's butt during the President's speech. I'm sure he will understand that I need to be fit during this economic downward spiral.

I did the regular Yoga that I have somewhat mastered mutilated. (Deep Breathing, Warrior (my fav), Salute the Sun (stupid because you are supposed to touch your toes, I just wave at mine) Half moon, just to name a few.
I tried some new yoga and a few strength training exercises too.
New Yoga
Palm Tree: Not as hard as it looked, actually it was a piece of cake.
Cobra: Lay flat on stomach and hold yourself up stretching for the sky. Not bad at all.
Chair: Not for the elderly, out of shape young people, or even your enemies. You have to stand on your toes, hold your arms straight out in front, and then squat and stand. This strengthens your ankles. My toes were screaming..."Please, we'll wave back at you if you just stop this and go back to saluting the sun!"
Moving right along...
Downward Facing Dog: Save the comments on this one please. You start out on your knees, push up with your feet and basically salute the sun/moon with your rear end for 30 seconds/eternity. Again with the toes screaming at me, along with the total body shaking, kind of like jello. "Watch it wriggle, watch it jiggle," and all that jazz. I did it and collapsed in a heap of quivering jello.
Dance: Grab your foot behind you, stretch for the sky while pulling your leg up behind you. Left foot so-so. Taylor was watching me at this point. I did mention that I fired her last week or so. Right foot, not so great. I could not grab my right foot. So I thought, I'll give it a little bounce and catch it. I bounce my foot on the Wii board and try to catch my foot. Taylor falls out of the chair, rolling on the floor laughing and screaming at me, "Thats so not how the Yoga woman did it" over and over. She is SO FREAKING FIRED.

And now, saving the best for last, the position that will make grown men cry, terrorist confess, and big girls scream...

Drum roll please....

The TRIANGLE
Oh.My.Gosh.

It is a combination of Salute the Sun/Warrior BACKWARDS. I don't think I made the triangle shape at all, more like twisted triangle/octagon shape. You are supposed to touch your right toes with your left hand while holding your right hand toward the sky, looking at your finger tips and oh, please don't forget to breathe. I didn't think anymore about my jiggly butt/bouncy boobs. I was withering on the floor with rib cramps. Can your ribs cramp? I think I pushed my kidneys out in front of my stomach.
Then I jackknifed.
Not your normal sit ups. You form a V shape for 15 seconds and then release. I should have some great looking abs in a few years, because it's gonna take me that long to uncramp.

Have a great night yall.