Phone Calls from Home

We've been back a week now from Florida. I miss being on vacation. Sandy is down there down with her family. So, HEY SANDY'S CREW!!!

I have been bombarded with phone calls from home, my home last week and today. I'm sure you all want to know what the little devils darlings are up to...

Ringing phone...
ME: hello
Taylor: I'm itching
ME: Scratch
Taylor: No, I'm itching really bad somewhere.
ME: Where?
Taylor: I can't say.
ME: No one's listening just say it
Taylor: My boobs itch
ME: Scratch
Taylor: My knee hurts, what can I do
ME: make a list of everything wrong with you and we'll go over it this afternoon and make a choice about the hospital we will put you in for the remainder of your life.
Taylor:Um, okay.

Taylor translates the above conversation to Mary Margaret.

Phone ringing...
Mary Margaret: Taylor says that I'm supposed to make a list of everything that itches so that you can put me in a hospital. I don't wanna go to no hospital, and besides I don't itch anyway, buggy Taylor is itching not me.
ME: That's not what I said to her
Mary Margaret: well what did you tell her cause I ain't doing nothing unless you tell me too.
ME: Are you bleeding?
MM: no
ME: you have nothing to worry about, love you goodbye

Today...
Phone rings
Mary Margaret: I was just swimming along and my nail popped off, what can I do, this is going to bother me all day and the rest of my life.
ME: I'll take you to the nail place and YOU can pay to have it repaired.
MM: Okie Dokie
ME: Please don't call me about the nails again. Call me if you see blood or if the house burns.

5 minutes later
Mary Margaret: now Taylor popped her nail off and I can't find the one I lost.
ME: Is there BLOOD squirting out uncontrollably from your finger?
MM: Nope.
ME: love you goodbye

3 minutes later
Taylor: Um, we are out of the pool now. And I just barely bumped my finger and the chlorine made the nail pop off, its not my fault.
ME: Do not call me about the nails one more time. I'm working. Blood only!!!!
Taylor: OOOOKKKKAAAYYYY, just sayin' it wasn't my fault.

Now for your reading pleasure, Sandy was googling some of our relatives names the other night and found this website that has obituaries, old obituaries. I love old obituaries. In the early 1900's people wrote with great descriptions. This one is my favorite...(names have been changed, just in case)

Death of Mrs. So In So
At 12 o'clock, Saturday night, Oct.6,1906, the Grim Reaper, Death, again entered our household, and with his icy sickle, has cut down the beautiful life of our sister, Mrs.Emma So In So. She has known much of this world's sorrows, which seemed to develop and sweeten her character to such a patient Christian, making her a most gentle mother, kind wife, and sympathizing friend and neighbor. She died at her home nine miles north of Forrest City, of consumption, after a lingering illness of several years. The precious remains were interred in the FORREST CITY Monday, Rev.J.K. So IN So in charge of the funeral services. She leaves a husband, and six children to mourn. She was married to Mr.D.L. So In So in Tipton County, Tenn., where they both resided in 1889, and came to this county in 1900. She was a charter member of the Christian church, and at the time of her death was 31 years, 11 months, and 15 days old. We offer our heartfelt sympathy to the entire family. Forrest City Times Editor. 10-12-1906

I wonder why we do not write obits like that anymore?