The Funny and NOT So Funny

Funny: Shall I set the scene? My bedroom, Saturday, RIPPING the floor up to install the new one. Two girls FIGHTING over a tool...

MM: Taylor, give me the pool holder.
TB: Nope
MM: Give...Me...the...pool...holder.
TB: Nope I'm using it.
MM: GIVE ME THE POOL HOLDER NOW NOW NOW.
kind of a growling voice came out of that pretty little mouth, I thought her ears would steam and the red lights would blink, but they didn't)

I decided to step in, frankly, because I'm dumb and had no idea what the pool holder could be.
ME: Taylor, show me this pool holder.
TB: Here it is!
She holds up the PRY BAR. Hum, wonder why that might be the pool holder.

ME: Mary Margaret, why in the world are you calling that the pool holder?
MM: Duh, its got that little V in it to hold the pool stick when you are playing pool. (This is the 13 Year Old who has maybe played pool 3 times in her life!)
ME: Duh back at you...the sticker right there says PRY BAR...
MM: Oh.

Not So Funny: Are you allowed to accuse God of being funny?
I'll set the scene again...today, rainy day for a funeral.
I grab up the umbrella so that I can stop traffic and direct the funeral traffic. Get outside, no rain, so I don't open the umbrella.
I get ready to tell the casketbearers when to pull out, BOTTOM FALLS OUT OF THE SKY HARD, I fight to get my umbrella open, finally it opens just as the rain stops.
Not So Funny #2:
The funeral procession is gone and I'm walking back to the funeral home from the street and someone, I couldn't see them because I think they were SPEEDING, splashes water on me as I step from the street to the curb. NOT FUNNY.