Razor Talk

The girls in the house were down to our last razor. It was the cheapest razor ever. It was meant to be a backup or for trips. YARM14YOL tossed our last good razor and failed to mention this little tidbit of information.

We were reduced to using the el-cheap-o razor until I can remember to put razors on the shopping list, which would mean that I would need to remember to take the list with me INTO the store and actually USE IT. I am proud of the fact that I taught both of the girls to shave with out needing stitches so far. I also take pride in the fact that I taught them how to soap the rag and use the soap for shaving. Every great once in a while we have shaving cream. Not often because they go crazy and use it all like in one shower. One morning while showering, I knock the el-cheap-o razor down into the bottom of the tub and step on it breaking it. It causes a little sharp pain and I said OUCH. Not loudly. They both come running. Shall I point out that I can SCREAM their names when in a pinch, like on a ladder trying to not fall off and NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON can hear me. I break a razor, and they are on top of my like bees on honey.
Exhibit A

They say....what happened? All concerned like.
Me: I just broke the razor.
MM: Great, that's the last one we have.
ME: I know. I'll get more.
MM: You'll never, never remember and I'll have hairy legs and underarms and everyone will make fun of me in PE.
ME: I'LL.GET.MORE. Now, go away and let me shower in peace.
TAYLOR: Well I'm glad its broke and we're getting a new one.
ME: Why?
TAYLOR: Because I can only shave one leg a week with that one.
ME: Whys that? (this ought to be good and by the way I'm still not alone in the bathroom, someone needs to warn expectant mothers that bathroom privacy is the first thing to go, not your sanity, gees.)
TAYLOR: I do that because it takes a week for one leg to stop hurting.
ME: ??WHAT??
TAYLOR: That razor burns my leg. I can only stand it one leg at a time.
ME: You are getting razor burn. Are you using soapy rag?
TAYLOR: Nope, I forget to shave in the shower so I shave after.
ME: You are dry shaving? No wonder your legs hurt. It doesn't matter what razor you use.
MARYMARGARET: Glad to know what that's called, I thought I had a disease.

If anyone decides to be me, I get your bathroom all to myself, I'll just sit on the floor and rock back and forth wondering where my sanity went.