YARM13YOL Lives One More Day

YARM13YOL makes it one more day. She's lucky, very very lucky.

What has she done now? It was horrible.

She

Shared

A

Chocolate Covered Pretzel

With

ME.

I thought, it's just one, it won't be that bad.
She doesn't know how close to meeting her maker she came to yesterday afternoon. I saw the bright light behind her, waiting with the door open... I restrained myself and the light faded and YARM13YOL was spared. I asked her for a second one after I inhaled the first one in seconds. I had to restrain myself from grabbing her little hand and jerking her up front with me and devouring that bag of pretzels and possibly her hand, wonder how I would explain the missing hand? (Note to self, it is not a good idea to let them buy a snack after school and let them eat it on the way home.) When she handed me the second one, she was a little scared, I turned just enough for Taylor to see me, I think the color drained from her face. I'm sure I transformed into a monster so horrific, glistening teeth, green eyes, warts with hair springing up everywhere. I breathed real slow and said "Little girl, hand over a pretzel, I won't harm you, insert evil laugh, ha ha ha ha ha".

Taylor made a smarter selection, Cheddar Cheese Combos. Not my favorite. She looked a little disappointed when I just ate one of hers and nothing happened. You know one kid wants what the other kid got so to speak.

My friend, who shall remain nameless, substitute teacher is more chicken than my girls. She called me and told me over the phone about "candy proofing" her house. She said she would only tell me about it since I was already home, miles away, "up on that hill with all them Butler's and no mother wing built on my house, waiting for the trumpets to sound" (inside joke, that was for you dear nameless friend). She found some Resses Peanut butter cups, while removing them, the wrappers flew off 3 of them and they started to fall and landed right in her mouth. Sounds believable? Then she tells me that she canceled those peanut butter cups out with some apples dipped in caramel. She's so funny.

YARM13YOL is speaking to me again. ALOT.
Taylor is about to die for tickets to see Taylor Swift and Kellie Pickler. She told our hairdresser that she wanted to change her name to Taylor Swift.