Tip: How to Avoid Work at Work

You must work at a funeral home with folks that remember THE WAR for this tip to work. I'm talking about WWII, which, here at this funeral home seems to be the only war that COUNTS.

Yes, Dianne, counting pens yesterday was WORK. Because I SAID SO.

Today, this day has INCHED by like a slimy little snail. In comes Boss #1 with a wedding invitation in his hand. (ME to ME, Yes, I have struck gold!!! I can tell right away that this invitation will involve INTERNET RESEARCH.

Boss #1: Google Quest this church in Memphis and get me a map with step by step instructions, then Google Quest this Museum in Memphis and get me a map with step by step instructions.
Me:(I was right) Yes, Sir!!! Let me get the laptop!!!
Boss #1: I'm taking my wife to this wedding and she doesn't know anything about Memphis.

Research done on MAP QUEST.

Me: Boss #1, I have the maps for you. Didn't you go to Rhodes College in Memphis?
(this is the tip....distract by asking personal questions about "back in the day")
Boss #1: Oh, yeah, I can find those places. I remember when I was going to Rhodes College, you see THE WAR was on and we used to study all night, get hungry, run down this road here (imagine him showing me the map really really close to my eyes) to the Brothel House.
Me: WHAT? (me to me, why do I need to know this information? gag)
Boss #1: We would run down to the Brothel House, best fun I ever had.
Me: O My goodness a Brothel House? Um, I don't want to hear this.
Boss #1: I said TOTTLE HOUSE.
Me: ???? What's that?
Boss #1: Like a Pancake House.
Me: (whew!) Oh, sorry I heard you wrong.
Boss #1: We would run down there and eat breakfast at 12 am in the morning. Then get up for choir because we had chapel everyday at 8 am, and blah blah blah blah

30 minutes later

Boss #1: and so there were 19 girls in that dormitory because THE WAR was on and blah blah blah blah

15 minutes later

Boss #1: That was how I got to see my first Opera during THE WAR because I was first in line to usher when the plays and operas came to Memphis to the City Auditorium (Now the Convention Center)
Me: Wow, that's interesting.

Let me point out, where I typed blah blah blah...I was listening to him, because these were stories I haven't heard before. I just do not have the time to type it all.

45 minutes of avoiding work at work.

Secretary #2 tries to look busy so as not to get caught. Sometimes, though, I use my skills to avoid work.

I forgot to mention this...

Last week ONE OF THE BOSSES called me Ambrosia instead of Kaye.

I know you all are jealous of me...I like my job, so stay back! They'll have to burn me out.