A Day In the Life of a Funeral Home Secretary

Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when we ...blah blah blah
Funeral Home, several weeks ago.

An order of pens come in and the town is spelled wrong. I called the company immediately. SOMEONE gets all in knots when something this STUPID happens. The customer service rep, Larry, says, "Kaye, we are going to chunk those pens, why don't you keep them?" Me, not wanting to write a 2000 word detailed explanation as to why the pen company messed up, devised a plan to keep this from SOMEONE (the boss). Me, 3 other employees and the other owner of the funeral home all agree to hide the pens and not mention it to THE BOSS. New pens come in and all is well.

Today...
Boss #1 to me: Kaye, call this company and order some refills for those pens and order more pens in black.
Me: Okay, I'll get this done tomorrow. (I'm balancing the check book and obviously do not look busy.)
Boss #2 (whom I'm not speaking to after this went down): Hey, Kaye, why don't we use those pens we got in that were messed up for the refills?
(ME TO ME: OMG, I can't believe he just said that, he was the main one that wanted to keep the pen issue quiet).
Me to Boss #2: Um, I don't remember any pens other than these that has no problems.
Boss #2: Sure you remember, we discussed that the city was spelled wrong and that we had better...oh. Um.
Boss #1: What are ya'll talking about? No one told me about messed up pens. That's why it took so dang long to get them in.
Boss #2: No, we got the replacements like 2 or 3 days after the wrong ones came in.
Boss #1: WHAT PENS?
Boss #2: Tell him Kaye.
--Let me point out that ALL my backup and partners in crime were OFF today.--
Me: Well, I do remember some pens coming in and they told us to chunk them. I think we put them in the music room to keep them from getting mixed up with the good ones.
Boss #1: Why didn't I know about this?
Me: You were gone to Memphis.
Boss #1: Why were the pens messed up? Did you fill out the form wrong? Why does no one ever tell me anything about MY FUNERAL HOME. I guess I'm gonna have to start doning everything myself.
Me: You filled out the form. The Pen company messed up.
Boss #1: Well, if I filled out the form, we know there wasn't a mistake. Write them a letter and find out why the mistake was made.
(ME sending telepathic thoughts to Boss #2, I'm not talking to you anymore. You are not going to be in on any more secrets.)

Boss #1 leaves.
Boss #2 looks at me, face red, "I'm sorry, I forgot."
Me to Boss #2: Now you have to bring back all those pens you took home.
Boss #2: I gave some away.