Call Me, I won't Answer!

I dare you to call me at home. I won't answer, I promise! Why, you ask.

Because I have teenagers. Those teenagers do not follow the rules. The rule broken would be this....

NO PHONES ALLOWED IN THE POOL. Can you guess what happened?

Babysitter: Miss Kaye, um something has happened and you can't call us.
ME: Um, Okay, what happened.
Babysitter: Please don't get upset with Mary Margaret!
ME: WhAt HaPpEnEd?
Babysitter: She's really crying...
ME:OMG just tell me what happened.
Babysitter: Okay, Mary Margaret was trying to show Taylor a bug in the pool and fell and dropped the phone in the pool.
ME: OMG is that all? Let me talk to Mary Margaret
MM: (crying uncontrolably, like I beat her regularly) I I I I'm so...soo...sorry. Are you going to beat me?
(Please, she hasn't had a whippin' since the last time)
ME: YES!!!! I'm going to whip you from your head to toe with a wet noodle!
MM: OHHHHHHHHHHH Noooooooo (hands the phone to Babysitter)
(I can hear M & M telling Taylor she's gonna get whipped from head to toe with a wet noodle and Taylor says, I bet that will hurt.......where did these kids come from?)
ME: Tell her that was a joke and stop crying. I'm not mad, we needed a new one anyway.
Babysitter: Ok

My sister-in-law Dianne said we could have their phone, its new, and she is using cell phones now. So, of course, there was a discussion about Diannes phone.

Taylor: Will there be a new number?
ME: A new number? What are you talking about?
Taylor: When we get Aunt Dianne's phone, will we get a new number.
(what?)
ME: NO, we are just getting her phone our number has been the same number for 15 years and will stay that way.
MaryMargaret: Yeah, Taylor, besides, she has to plug it into the phone jack to get a new number.
Me to Myself: And just yesterday I thought I wanted another one. What was I thinking?
ME to girls: I'm going to talk to Toby Keith, the cat, I can understand what he is talking about.
MM: Oh, I know , me too.

Where is calgon when I want it?