Are You...

Are you a parking space hogger?

Parking space hogger, you know who you are. You are the little old couple that stops traffic for your spouse to get out at the door and you drive at a snails pace and whip in at whip lash pace in the best parking space, parking space #1. You sit and wait eventually falling asleep waiting on your spouse, and by the way, you parked so close to the other car that even the HUNGRY models can't get in that car! You suddenly wake up and remember that you were supposed to be watching for your spouse. You look around and wonder....what the heck has the traffic all stopped up on the other side of the lot. ITS YOUR SPOUSE wandering around the wrong end of the lot looking for you.

Parking space hogger, you know who you are. You are the one who moseys out with your bags, talking on your cell phone, walk to the wrong car, then walk to the other side of the lane and throw your bags in the trunk, look around and see me waiting and then arrange your bags ever so slowly and finally head to the driver's side, dig for your keys (you were too busy yakking on the phone earlier to get your keys). I've been sitting patiently waiting for the space and you decide to look over your receipts. I'm not giving up, I want your prime parking space. I deserve it. I rode all the way to this mall (1hour drive) with teenagers. I DESERVE THIS SPACE.

Parking space hogger, you know who you are. You are the MOMMY that parks in the best spot at the grocery store, right in front of the newspaper stands. You are the MOMMY that sends your child angel to the newspaper stands to get your papers and this child does not know how to work the stand. MOMMY gets out and hurriedly (this is a PG rated blog so hurriedly is a mild adjective) and speaks loudly at the angel child, you politely retrieve your paper vowing to never send angel child to get a newspaper again and you were in a hurry to begin with. The look on your face when you realize that you have done this with an audience....PRICELESS. We all know your Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde self.

A few other parking lot rules...

Parking Spaces are called spaces for a reason...you stay in yours and I'll stay in mine. My car does not want to be your cars' best friend.
My car may not be pretty, but we like it, so please do not add paint to my car
The parking lot is not a playground for your children
Little dogs are angry when left behind oh, and scary
Old dogs...really do not want to be in the back of the truck...you can see it in their eyes

The FIRE ZONE is for fire trucks that actually PUT OUT FIRES. Not for people who are wannabe's.

and last...
Flyers under my wiper get on my last NERVE, can you believe that someone had the nerve to put one under my wiper at the FUNERAL HOME during a funeral, yes all the cars had one. Really?

I know that gas prices ridiculously high...

I might have been friends with you, parking lot rule violator, you have ruined our could-have-been-friendship...I did not need a magnet for my van to remind me about the gas prices...

FOUND ONE GAS PRICES STINK STICKER ON THE LUCY VAN IN THE WYNNE WALMART PARKING LOT...

**As I was posting this, my brother-in-law, walks in the funeral home and says..."Oh, you found the magnet I put on your van...

Classified ad...FOR SALE: PARKLING LOT RULE VIOLATOR...COMES WITH HIS OWN CELL PHONES(plural) LOOK FOR HIM AT....THE FIRE ZONE AT WALMART...CODE NAME...JASON, HI-TECH-RED-NECK