Boys, Work and Gnats

BOYS
I went on a date. A real date. You know, the kind of date where you are all nervous, you sweat, you check your breath to see if it stinks, that kind of date. I went Friday.

Not with Tim.

Put your eyebrows down, hang up the phones, and stop saying "Well, I knew...". I'm not cheating on my husband. I went on a date with Taylor and Brett. She brushed her teeth like 3 times, plus used mouth wash, and chewed gum all the way there. She tried on three or four different outfits and finally settled on a blue jean skirt (to the knee) and a polo shirt. She straightened her hair and put on MAKEUP AND she wore flats not FLIP FLOPS.

We dropped Mary Margaret off at the skating rink and we headed to pick up Brett. Taylor says we need to have a serious discussion. Okay. Should I kiss him? ....tires screeching... What? If he kisses me should I kiss him? If you want to. Okay, well you can't look.

Okie Dokie.

Do y'all remember the last movie I took them to? Sex in the opening scene? Wellllll they went their way, I sat one row behind them and "I'llbedagnabit" the opening scene was a naked rear end which led right to a sexy scene. "Time Travelers Wife" is good, but there is an abundance of naked bootay. The male bootay. Apparently the Time Traveler travels naked, he can't carry his clothes with him. Have you ever seen "Somewhere In Time" or "The Lake House" ? Same story line.

Anyhoo, back to the date. I saw them actually talk to each other in the movie this time. Taylor was still very stone like and again, this girl did not eat in front of Brett at the movies. We went to Sonic while we were waiting on MM to finish at the skating rink, they both ordered sweet tea AT THE SAME TIME. They looked at each other and smiled real big. Later, Taylor said, I knew he would like sweet tea, we are made for each other.

AWwwwwwww.

We've picked up Mary Margaret and it's time to take Brett home. They asked me to park at the end of his driveway, so they could walk up it and talk. It's a dark driveway. Mary Margaret was getting a little huffy, cause she just knew they would kiss.

Taylor gets back in the van. HUGE smile. I'm about to cry, cause I just know my baby got kissed.

Taylor: We discussed kissing and decided to just hug this time.

Mary Margaret and I both let our breath out. Whew. Still my baby.

Later we discussed this kissing thing while we were ALL piled up in my LITTLE bed. Tim was doing his little nervous laugh and rubbing his eyes thing when things get UNCOMFORTABLE. Mary Margaret stomped off cause she's tired of hearing about the DATE. Tim, wanting to get away from this subject, asks a total guy question...

Tim: Have you farted in front of Brett yet?
Taylor: (laughs until she cries) Nope, not yet, and I'm not going to.
Me:Ya know they are still at that point in their relationship where you hold in the gas until you get into a big crowd so you can pass it off on someone else.
I tell her about my dates with Tim. Tim never passed gas in front of me. NEVER. But the wires in that Toyota Landcruiser were ALWAYS burning or we were always getting CLOSE TO WEST MEMPHIS. Now, 18 years later, I get no warning and no excuses, and they smell worse. Gag you.

Moving right along...

WORK
At work, Bill G. has challenged Taylor and Mary Margaret. Taylor's challenge is to be the one to do the kissing and he'll give her $5. There has been much discussion about this. Taylor wants the $5, but doesn't want to be the one to do the kissing. She wants Brett to make the first move. So, she wants to trick Bill and tell him she did to get the money. Didn't work. He sneaked around and asked me if I saw them kiss and I said no, I don't think they kissed. I had no idea what was going on.

The next challenge I was present for...
Bill G. challenged Mary Margaret to not kiss a boy until she's 18 and he'll give her $500.
MM: For Real?
BG: Yup.
MM: Will it come out of your bank account?
BG: Why does that matter? You get $500 not matter where it comes from.
MM: OH, it matters. If you get it from the bank you might give me cash.
BG:Um, okay. Kaye, what do you feed this child?
ME: Oh, I bet this conversation is going to be great in about 10 seconds....
MM: Okay...here's the deal, I'll wait to kiss a guy until I'm 18 and instead of $500 you give me $10.00. Now that's a deal.
BG: (raises his eyebrows at me) I'll take it.

She still hasn't realized she just knocked herself out of $490, plus she has to wait until she's 18 to get TEN DOLLARS.

GNATS
We have gnats. I don't know why. Help!