6th Grade Student Council

Taylor gave her speech today. She did a wonderful job! She was so cute! My baby is growing up.

6 out of 29 get elected!

Okay, sappy stuff over.

Important Funeral Home Jobs

Everyone is always amazed that I work at a Funeral Home. The comment I hear the most is this "Oh my gosh how do you stand it, I couldn't do it. It takes someone special to work at a funeral home." One of the guys that works here always has a great come back line..."Honey, its not the dead that scare me, I'm afraid of the live ones."

My first day, for lunch I ate Chinese, came back and the guys were embalming, I lost my lunch. I had never smelled embalming fluid before in my life. I got over it real quick and learned to not eat Chinese at lunch if the guys were working in the prep room. I learned that when aspirating is happening, I'm not going in the prep room. Luckily, we now have a trade service embalm for us, so not much, matter of fact, 2 years ago, they stopped embalming here all together.

The handling of someones loved one is one of the most important job you can have. (Keeping someone alive would be the most important, and after dealing with some of these doctors, I'm thinking, how did they become doctors in the first place, and I'm keeping a list of who not to go see!)

When the statement is made, "...it takes someone special..." that is true. Not everyone can deal with raw human emotion. Not everyone is made to deal with the public, although, I think that it should be a requirement at some point.

This is why I get paid the big bucks...and probably some of my most important jobs ever here a the funeral home...some of you may remember this from a previous post...I get paid the big bucks to remove used pads off the back of the women's bathroom door, because someone did not know how to use the trash can, trying my best not to throw up and yes I remember the lady that came out of the bathroom and yes she now works at one of the fast food restaurants in Wynne...just sayin, McDonald's, I hope your employees wash their hands...

Sandy and I also get paid the big bucks to do the following...

Sandy removes gum stuck to the back of a pew after a funeral service. Again we must be really doing a good job of hiding our trash cans from the public.

What is all the ties for? At the funeral home, we prepare for Christmas a tiny bit ahead of time...the ties are Christmas gifts for the ministers in our area and other "men" that help us tremendously. Getting ready for Christmas in September...that's how we roll around here. Isn't Sandy doing a wonderful job with those ties?!?!?!?

Teenagers, Republicans, and Twix

As you all know things have been peachy keen on the homefront. NOT. I would like to point out that tonight was not that bad. Why? I think she was worried. I printed off her grades off of Edline. Edline, I would marry Edline if I could, really such a wonderful, wonderful little website. Who would have thunk it...a tiny little website can hold the future of so many teens in the palm of its hand. No longer can teens hide grades and homework from their parents. I love edline.

Edline did not have good things to report to me. Bearer of bad news for YARM13YOL. She was utterly shocked to find out that she had a science test last week. I think that maybe these teachers are out to get her, putting those grades on edline, how dare they? Other exciting things happening at Butler Manor...I cleaned her room from top to bottom. 2 huge black trash bags full of CRAP. YARM13YOL: "I Could do that, if you would just give me a chance! But no, you won't give me chance to clean my own room." ME: "I've given you a chance everyday for the last 12 years, to clean up your room on your own. How many more chances do you need?" YARM13YOL: "A lot".

Last week I mentioned that I watched the Democratic National Convention, well, mainly because I couldn't find the remote control and I had just exercised on the tread mill and really couldn't make the long journey from the chair to the TV to change the channel, if I had the energy to do anything, I would have called 911, pressed charges against the tread mill for taking advantage of me like that. (its laughing at me now as I type this). Anyway, I felt like I owed it to the Republicans to watch their national convention. Why are the republicans not as exciting as the democrats? I could compair them to a soap opera, but I won't. I have to say this...Palin had me when she SOLD HER PLANE ON EBAY. Now that's what I'm talking about. Thats my girl. Still, the republicans just didn't make me feel the WOW factor. Maybe it was because I was listening instead of watching. TheMoreTheMessier was waiting for someone to address the price of our beloved candy bars going up. The republicans let her down too.

Some of you are dying (I know a good funeral home) to know why was I listening to the Republican National Convention instead of watching. I'll tell you. One more time, I was playing with glue and glitter. Taylor is running for student council. So I was making posters, helping her with a speech, cooking dinner, quizzing YARM13YOL unnecessarily because she never has tests, and listening to the Republicans. I am talented. Thank you, Thank you...

Things I loved today...

• Cleaned YARM13YOL room, find some of my stuff that has been missing.
• There really was two trash bags of crap in YARM13YOL room, seriously.
• Now YARM13YOL room is cleaner than mine.
• Spent 30 unstopping my vacuum.
• YARM13YOL studied from 5 to 8, and remembered nothing she studied because I was not specific about the words I wanted her to read...
• Made posters for Taylor for Student Council who was worried about how to wear her hair for her speech.
• Taylor: will I win a trophy, Me: no, you get a spot on the student council, Taylor: oh, whats that. Me: Are you serious?
• I LOVE LOVE LOVE GLITTER. (she says sarcastically.) I love to get it on the floor, on me, and I really love to get it in my EYE.
• Glitter is hard to vacuum off the kitchen floor, carpet and kitchen table. It is not hard, however, to suck it out of the bottle when you bend over and you do not pay attention and accidentally stick the vacuum wand in the glitter container and suck up $2.50 worth of glitter in 2 seconds.
• Notice a Wal-Mart sack sitting behind the kitchen door and discover TWIX CANDY BARS and everyone in the house is asleep and will never know (until they read this post) that these candy bars existed because I ate them all while pounding out this exciting post about my wonderful night. I run excitedly to my chair, rip open the sack, turn on the computer and connect to the Internet, open the first Twix and take that first bite. Heaven.
• Rain, rain, and more rain.

Oh, I love this little boy, 7 years old, on Jay Leno, he just said that he thought that the Russians would never win a medal in the olympics because he thought they were all drunk. He's part Russian, but he doesn't drink yet. How funny. He's playing the piano...I'm impressed

Free Stuff

Guaranteed in stock, in your size or it's free. If they don't have your size, what are they going to do, give you the wrong size free? Sandy found this in the newspaper last week.

Last night YARM13YOL promised to stop the smart mouth stuff and be nice and I agreed that after 6months of her being nice and no smart mouth stuff, she could have her texting privileges back. She says that one of the reasons why she is such a smart mouth is because I won't let her have her cell phone and texting privileges. She doesn't understand why she gets grounded from this stuff all the time. NONE of her friends get grounded, they never get the cell phones taken. She'll just get a job and buy her own phone, that way I can't control what she does...yeah, I see a 13 year old getting a job and a phone. I named off the friends that I have heard of getting grounded...she wanted me to name the date that this happened to these kids...otherwise she wouldn't believe me.

This morning before school...she had already broken that promise, all over a stupid pair of WET jeans she wanted to wear to school. Then because I wouldn't let her wear the wet jeans, she wanted to wear a pair of pants that were too tight. I had laid out a pair of Capri's, which she used to like, last week. Her comment was this...I guess you are okay with sending me to school to freeze. Taylor and I had to listen to her smart mouth all the way to town, making my morning SUCK.

Gees, this is getting irritating.

Funny How Things Turn Out

A funny little thing happened...not really funny to me

YARM13YOL made her friend Julia think that she had told me the truth about talking about me. Today, I read Julia's blog, she had apologized to me and said that she was sorry that YARM13YOL had talked about me. She also thanked me for the swim party I let YARM13YOL have.

Here's what some may think is funny, ironic, whatever...

YARM13YOL did not tell me about talking about me. She told me that what Julia was talking about on her blog, was when YARM13YOL was talking about her sister.

I was 21 years old when I gave up my life and dreams so that two precious little girls would have a safe and loving home. I'm now 34....oh never mind, its not worth it.

Monster Kaye let the girls have a "Back To School Party" on Saturday. My Internet at the house is so slow, I'll have to wait until this afternoon when I go in to work to post and email the pictures. I think all the kids had a great time.

How foolish do I feel now, knowing that YARM13YOL has told probably all of them what a horrible person I am. I saw her at the party walking around telling her friends that I had found out about the boyfriend, pointing at me, rolling her eyes, arms crossed on her chest...I wonder if she was telling them then how badly I treated her...for the record...I said to her "I know he's your boyfriend, thats fine, I don't like that you lied to me about him." She said back to me "I had to lie, because you said I'm too young to have a boyfriend, so I lied, you make me lie."

No matter what I do, its never good enough. Story of my life, I've never been good enough for anyone.