July 2015

October 26, 2014 used to be my day ever.  I think that July 11, 2015 tops that.  I haven't been able to hear MM's voice since Oct 26.  I've seen her a few times.  She didn't speak at Christmas to us at Tim's parents house.  In February for the first time in 19 years I was not the first one to wake her up and wish her happy birthday, yet I found comfort knowing that at least someone was getting to tell her happy birthday.  In May she walked right past me at the hospital to see Tim's dad, never looked at me nor spoke, yet I found comfort that someone knew how to contact her.  July 11 on our way home from one of our best vacation, relaxing, forgetting the real world, Tim's brother calls and says he can't stop MM from leaving with this...

why? Because she is an adult.  So, my baby, that is what she is even if she hates me for some unknown reason, is moving to Illinois with a Felon.  Not just any Felon, a felon that has been found guilty of stalking and setting up a meeting to abduct a child. 

She's going to marry her.
My 20 year old baby is going to marry a 43 year old child abductor.
My baby girl is going to marry a grown woman.
My father in law still has some contact with her and that is my only comfort.  Waiting for a tid-bit that the in laws choose to share with my husband. Not me.

How do parents of abducted children or murdered children live, breathe, eat.  I hear  and have nightmares about what my baby is doing.  Those parents only have wonder, nightmares, what if's and never anything tangible.

I heard this was said when the woman came to pick her up "I've never seen her be so happy to see someone".

Oh, and no one can do anything because she's 20.

BS