Paper Clips

Paper Clips might seem like a dull subject to most people.

If paper clips bore you, please, by all means, stop reading now and check out one of my addictions listed over at the side. Emma has a post about Stinky Pee that is sure to have you rolling on the floor laughing. Maybe, Jenni's husband fishing in the toilet will cause snickers and make you lend her moral support, she has two kids and a TEENAGER, she needs support.

The brave, who are not scared of boredom, keep reading...

I would like to dedicate this post to Sandy, it would not be possible without her.

A little history to begin. The funeral home I work at was established in Wynne in 1927. It is now ran by the founders children, one in his 80's and the other in his 70's. They are very good to me and we, my whole family, love them, so this is all in fun and quirkiness. So, this post might only be funny to the people who LIVE this daily.

They both have little quirks, as I'm sure we all do, that drive some to the edge of balancing on "Do I Jump or Do I not Jump off the cliff." My name gets called thousands of times a day, much like a little kid calls the parent to do little things that could have been done without help. One boss is irritated by the other's ability to spend money, it is safe to say that it blows all of our minds, the stuff he buys and won't buy. In an office, paper clips are necessary. His paper clip cup is always full and ours always empty. He absolutely hates to order paper clips and detests the paper clips I buy at Wal-Mart. They are not smooth he says, which ensues a lecture on how the paper clip was invented, when his dad bought the first paper clip, and whole bunch of other stuff that confuses me and I usually walk away thinking...I just wanted to get a paper clip.

He will buy more envelopes than you can use in a life time. Point...opened up a box of envelopes yesterday and he told us, the glue on the envelope has gone bad, we will have to be careful mailing stuff. He said, I don't know why. BECAUSE HE BOUGHT THOUSANDS IN 1990.
He will not buy paper clips.
He will buy whiteout by the cases and wonder why it drys up (one reason, he has the best secretaries ever and we don't have to use the whiteout)
He will not buy paper clips.
He will buy 3 gallons of rubber cement (for me to pour all over the laptop, yes I did)
He will not buy paper clips.
He will buy hundreds of 8 X 10 picture frames
He will not buy paper clips.
He will buy a walk behind mower for the cemetery for roughly 3,000 that no one can use
He will not buy a .30 box of paper clips
He will buy enough rock salt to salt all of New York, because WE have so much snow
He will not buy paper clips.
He will buy tons of copy paper and make me guess the weight of the paper
He will not buy paper clips.
He will buy mole poison and NOT use it
He will not buy paper clips, and I'm sure we could use them.

Told you it was boring.