Meet Addison Paige

Meet Addison Paige. She was born on the 21st of March. She is my great niece. I think that its possible she inherited her grandmothers dislike of my camera, or I need to research more about photographing babies. Plus, she got cold, hungry, need to burp and other stuff. I managed a few good shots, which were all taken outside...I just can't figure out what I'm doing wrong inside.

One thing is certain...she is the cutest little thing you ever did see!

Bedrock

Fred Flinstone would probably hate this song Bedrock. I do. It's stupid. The girls love it. It slaughters everything you ever learned in english class.

Bedrock Lyrics

I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock Girl
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock

[Lil Wayne]
She Got That Good Good,
She Michael Jackson Bad,
I'm Attracted To Her, For Her Attractiveness,
And Now We Murderers, Because We Killed Time,
I Knock Her Lights Out, And She Still Shine,
I Hate To See Her Go, But I Love To Watch Her Leave
But I Keep Her Running Back And Forth
Soccer Team
Cold As A Winter Day,
Hot As A Summer's Eve,
Young Money Thieves
Steal Your Love And Leave
I Like The Way You Walkin, If You Walking My Way,
I'm That Red Bull, Now Let's Fly Away,
Let's Buy A Place, With All Kind Of Space,
I Let You Be The Judge, N-N And I'm The Case,
I'm Gudda Gudda,
I Put Her Under,
I See Me With Her, No Stevie Wonder,
She Don't Even Wonder, Cuz She Know She Bad,
And I Got Her Grocery Bag.
(this is my favorite line! What does the grocery bag have to do with anything?)

[Lloyd]
(Okay)
Ooh Baby,
I Be Stuck To You,
Like Glue Baby,
Wanna Spend It All On You,
Baby,
My Room Is The G Spot,
Call Me Mr. Flintstone,
I Can Make Your Bed Rock
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock Girl
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock

[Nicki Minaj]
Ok I Get It,
Let Me Think, I Guess It's My Turn,
Maybe It's Time To Put On Ya Sideburns,
He Say I'm Bad, He Prolly Right,
He Pressing Me Like Button Downs On A Friday Night (Ha-ha-ha),
I'm So Pretty Like,
Me On My Pedal Bike,
Me On My Low Starch,
Me In My Echo Whites
He Say Nicki Don't Stop You Da Bestest,
And I Just Be Coming Off The Top as bestest
[Drake]
I Love Ya Sushi Rolls, Hotter Than Wasabi,
I'm Race'n For Your Love,
Shake And Bake Ricky Bobby,
I'm At The W, But I Can't Meet You In The Lobby,
Girl I Gotta Watch My Back, Cuz I'm Not Just Anybody,
I Seen Em' Stand In Line, Just To Get Beside Her,
I Let Her See The Aston, And Let The Rest Surprise Her,
That's When We Disappear, You Need GPS To Find Her,
Oh That Was Your Girl?
I Thought I Recognized Her.

[Lloyd]
(Okay)
Oh Baby,
I Be Stuck To You,
Like Glue Baby,
Wanna Spend It All On You,
Baby,
My Room Is The G Spot,
Call Me Mr. Flintstone,
I Can Make Your Bed Rock
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock Girl
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock

[Tyga]
She Like Tanning,
I Like Staying In,
She Like Romancing,
I Like Rolling With Friends,
She Said I'm Caged In,
I Think Her Conscience Is,
She Watching That Oxygen,
I'm Watching ESPN,
But When That Show End,
She All On My Skin,
Lotion,
Slower Motion,
Roller Coasting,
Like Back Forth Hold It (Hold It).....
She Pose Like It's For Posters,
And I Poke Like I'm Suppose To,
Take This Photo If You For Me,
She Said Don't You Ever Show This,
I'm Too Loyal..,
And Too Focused..,
To Be Losing..,
And Be Hopeless..,
When I Spoke This,
She Rejoiced It,
Said Your Word Get Me Open,
So I Closed It,
Where Your Clothes Is,
I'm Only Lovin' For The Moment.

[Jae Millz]

She Ain't Got A Man,
But She's Not Alone,
Miss Independent,
Yea She Got Her Own,
Hey Gorgeous,
Uhmmm,
I Mean Flawless,
Well, That's What You Are, How I See It Is How I Call It Yea,
L-Look It How She Walk,
MMHMMM She Know She Bad,
Do-Do Your Thing Baby,
I Ain't Even Mad,
And I Ain't Leavin' Fast,
Imma Stay A While,
Hold Ya Head Chris,
I-Imma Take Ya Down.

Oh Baby,
I Be Stuck To You,
Like Glue Baby,
Wanna Spend It All On You,
Baby,
My Room Is The G Spot,
Call Me Mr. Flintstone,
I Can Make Your Bed Rock
(young money)
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock Girl
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock
I-I-I I Can Make Your Bed Rock
(Lil Wayne)
Gudda Gudda,
T-Streetz
Mack Maine,
Jae Millz,
Tyga Tyga,

Drizzy Drake,
Nicki Minaj,
Hey Shanell,
Lil Twist
Lil Chuckee
(Lloyd) and Young Lloyd
hayyy Its Young Mula Baby!!

Brother-In-Law and Niece

This is a shout out to my Brother-in-Law, Garrie and his daughter Amanda for coming to Freckles rescue last night. Garrie reads this every once in a while sooooo....Shout out BrotherInLaw. (yes we call him brotherinlaw he's the only one)

(Freckles is our basset hound that we "inherited" from the girl that babysat the girls for years. We got him when she went off to college.)

He's a sweet old fat...let me stress...fat..."old man". Anywho...we came home one afternoon last week and he smelled horrific. Seriously made the girls vomit. He wouldn't let me touch his back, I could see that something was wrong, his fur was all matted down and he smelled like old grease mixed with burning flesh. I've been cleaning him every afternoon with peroxide, which he does not like and it just wasn't getting better. I was able to get the burnt fur off to where I could clean the wound.

Last night Garrie and Amanda came out to the house with the good stuff, they are pretty good with doctoring on animals. They cleaned it up better than I could and packed it with burn cream. He was back to his old self in minutes. He even wanted in the house. HA! He came up to me lookin all "now woman, that's how you clean a dawg!" (he hasn't been talking to me...im thinking cause he doesn't like my bottle of peroxide)

He was up moving around this morning when we left like always...Taylor said, "Yup, he's getting better, he's up to tell us good bye for the day!"

Freckles is hopefully on the road to recovery.

How'd he get burned? Only Freckles knows I guess. I thought maybe he had gotten under a hot tail pipe on a vehicle, but this is too severe, really looks like grease was poured on him. I thought maybe he had gotten into Dianne's burn hole at her house while they were burning trash, but...Being smart and all...I figured out quickly that he would be burned on his paws and belly if thats what he had done...and its just on his back, so it's a mystery.

The Hustle

My girls want to learn this...


I will video the results....

Not Making Fun of

but laughing with her...

The other night, I thought that Dianne needed some cheering up, so, I fixed my hair and make up 80's style and took a few pictures with my cell and texted them to her.

She was under the influence of drugs. Her return texts were quite funny.
**see notes at bottom of post**
Picture #1 got this response:
**HER: "Susan"
ME: almost
HER: why
ME: wish I had electric blue mascara/eyeshadow
HER:im 2 sexy 4 my camera
HER: y u do tht
ME: did you laugh
HER: too painful to laugh I smiled
ME: Mission accomplished
HER: my drains feel like water hoses
ME: dang

Picture #2
HER:"what a roled modeled"
ME:IKR...
(me: wait a minute...)
ME:"WTC" (what the crap)
I thought that she was trying to say I was a great role model, so I texted her back....I know Im an awesome role model. I know this because I tell myself that all the time.
HER: I had to go back and read what I said cause I forgot already
then
HER:oooo i made a txt funny while stoned

I could almost see her sitting in her recliner reading back what she had sent me giggling under the influence.

**inside joke - the fact that she called me Susan means there is still a light at the end of Dianne's tunnel and that she is tryin to get all frisky with me and that after she's all back to good...that light at the end of her tunnel might be extinguished cause I'm gonna extinguish it for her. CAUSE Susan is not my name.

Just sayin

I'd hate for her to end up with one bigger than the other like a certain 15 year old that I know...who is certain she has one bigger than the other and secretly wants to get that fixed...

Borrowed

I borrowed this from a friend on Facebook...

Love it!

Is this straight?
We have a health care plan written by committee whose chairman says he doesn't understand it,
passed by a Congress that hasn't read it but exempts themselves from it,
to be signed by a president who hasn't read it and smokes,
with funding administered by a treasury chief who didn't pay his taxes,
...overseen by a surgeon general who is obese,
financed by a country that's broke.
What could go wrong?

Thats the AMERICAN WAY!

Personal Twist

Warning all lefties....stay away from the right hander stuff...


Now...for those new readers...I work at a funeral home...so beware...

Personal Twist
Are you afraid you might forget what Grandma or Grandpa looks like after they have departed to the great pearly gates of Heaven?

Fear No More!!!!

Have them cremated and buy an Urn with a Personal Twist!!!

At the present time my funeral home does not offer this type of urn, but, if you really want one, call me and I'll hook you up!

EEEEEWWWWWW gross!

The final product is an urn that looks exactly like the head of your deceased loved one. This urn does not come with hair but can be added by purchasing a wig if desired.


Can I say this enough...EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

The head looks like its had a lobotomy.

Gross...what if it had those doll eyes that blinked? EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW

oh, OH, OH, what if it had one of those recorded messages that was motion activated and the lips moved.....eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww


I need a vacation.

Not Saying Happy St. Patricks Day

Nope. Not doing it. Cause its not.

3 women in this house might be too many today. MM just came to the living room to get a towel, gave me the death look and stomped off to the bathroom to take a shower and to get ready for school. Now she is singing to her Ipod, angry songs.

I'm sure I didn't do anything.

Taylor comes to the living room to get her towel, blows her breath out and says...What'd you get me up for? I said...School. She says..."ugh, ermmm, ugh, ermmm, I don't wanna go to school" and stomps off and slams the bathroom door.

I'm sure I didn't do anything to that one either.

Poor Poor Tim.

The other day he made the mistake of asking MM what was wrong with her...

She put one hand on her hip, waved one hand in the air, rolled her head and said..."My boobs hurt, my back hurts, I'm bloated, and I will probably start AT SCHOOL 2MORROW." Then she stomps, turns on her heel and swing her bootay out of our room and screams back..."I would slam my door, but it's freakin broke and I can't, so pretend!"

mmhmmm she did.

Taylor comes into our room the day before MM did...and says "Hey, I need stuff." okay...what stuff? STUFF. What Stuff? (with Taylor it could be anything, I'm seriously thinking of hiring a translator). She screams and stomps...GIRL MONTHLY STUFF.

Last night Tim calls and says, "We are pulling a trailer with the backhole on it, can't turn around in the yard, do you think you could drive to the bottomm of the driveway and pick me up? I'm tired."

I said "yes sugar lump, sweetiepie honey bunch, I will, cause I'm an awesome wife and love you so very much, I wouldn't want you to walk up the driveway when you have worked all day very hard."

Okay...so I really just said "Yep, I'll pick u up."

Next thing I know...He's standing in the bedroom, bumping the bed, saying wake up...Gee thanks for the ride.

Ooops.

He was all out of breath too. I'm thinking he walked up the driveway cause his wonderful wife fell asleep and forgot him.

Email From My Brother Scott

Scott always has the best stories, they make me laugh and cry all at the same time, cause I miss his goofy butt. It amazes me that he lives and works where he does.

Hi All.... I Think I will be done here Tuesday but not sure when we will get a pilot capable of taking us back over the big mountains between here and anchorage. Mainly when ever a plane comes in from Anchorage then we can get out. Also, I took a few pictures and videos, all with the cell phone (which has no service here) but I didn't bring the nice camera on a trip like this, its to big for the lil planes and for work, but they are OK, and lil short video clips to send once I'm back. The "dial up" Internet here is way to slow.

So, I had one the most interesting conversations the other day.

So I am standing out on this run way that was plowed out of the snow in preparation for our departure in our cracker jack box of an airplane. This little 3 seater bush plane that didn't make you feel really comfortable to begin with.

Then the pilot walks up in worn out overalls and a flannel shirt with his bag over his arm. He kicks the tires, knocks the snow off the flaps and says "all right, you boys ready to get in the air?" Well I was up until a couple minutes ago. Then as I'm getting on the plane it's not that cold, around 15 below zero Fahrenheit.... He says "are the clothes your wearing all you have with you today son"?

So I say "Yea I'm from "Glennallen" so -15 degrees isn't that cold to me... He said, now no kidding, the pilot fixing to to fly me out into the untouched country of Alaska say's and I quote "yea but if we crash you'll want some cold weather gear for the -45 degrees tonight in the mountains."

Hmmmmmm, well now that sure doesn't give yo much confidence in your bush pilot.... He is also the planes mechanic, and the guy who judges rather or not the landing strip on the other end is long enough that some native village has cleared with a Dozer for us and marked with traffic cones. Yea, he figures there's a good enough chance we will crash that we best take along our "crash preparation kit"

I know ur thinking is this new to him... No I've lived up here 15 years. However this is my first venture out into the native Eskimo villages and it's different. Even the bush pilots around Glennallen and other places are very clean cut and professional and the planes are fairly new, and the landing strips are built buy the highway dept. The other difference is that where I'm from if you were to crash there is usually cell phone coverage. Here if you crash and you live thru it you put on snow shoes and start walking till you find some one or some one finds you. That could be hundreds of miles, or you just have to wait till they miss you where you took off from and then they will come look for you. So, it's a little different out here.

I love it though. I wouldn't want to be doing anything else.... Well, actually... I could go for job engineering a job on a beach in the Bahamas right about now :-)

....and he does all this with a prosthetic leg....
love you little brother!

Taylor Turns 14

Taylor turned 14 today! She's growing up, maturing, just really becoming a beautiful young lady. We went shopping Saturday night (after Saturday School, since they are still making up snow days) and to eat at Chili's.
Me and Taylor this afternoon after church. (check it out...the Wynne shirt again)

Ashley Duncan made the cake, Taylor and Philip share the family birthday party since, the birthdays are just a week apart. Taylor is 14 and Philip is really 13. I did not pay attention today when I agreed to their ages. Philip went around telling everyone that he would be needing 2 years of birthday money, seeing how we skipped 13 and 14. Ha!

Taylor and her friend Ruby at the mall in Jonesboro.

Lately, I've been paying attention to how grown up the girls are. How responsible they are becoming. My niece, Amanda, is having a baby SOON. Babies require responsible people to take care of them, this got me to thinking about just how responsible the girls really are. Neither can remember to brush their teeth, lunch money, when they need to be some where and I think they might not use soap in the shower, I'm not checking. Responsible would NOT be Mary Margaret and Taylor...my exhibit...
Meet our cat Pepper

This cat crouches every day by the door when we get home and shoots in the door with lighting speed, just to wait to be fed.

I paid attention today. The cat cries like a baby. Seriously. It is extremely annoying. They both listened to that cat cry for about 15 minutes. I'm not joking, it sounds like a REAL BABY. They totally ignored it. A few weeks ago the cat had a super-dee-duper snot nose. I told them to figure out how to clean her up, i.e. get a wet rag and wipe its face. They both looked at the cat and made puking noises and ran.

I'm thinking a real baby might starve in their care and have a permanent snot crusted face. Just sayin.

Living On the Edge Is Dangerous

I love to live on the edge. Finish things with minutes to spare. It's how I roll, right?

Today is a living on the edge kind of day.

Remember, I was banned from using the new labeler? Cause I might break it or something?

Maybe my boss knew something about me that I didn't know.

Cause...

drum roll....

This here is the dangerous part...

I used it. Boldly, right in front of him and BROKE IT.

....

....

....

....

I got a "cutter error". Yep, I messed up the freakin cutter. He mumbled a lot of words I did not understand and probably would hurt my feelings if I did understand.

So, seeing how I've done this before, and no he doesn't know I've had experience with this error before, I acted all "let's just see what happens when I pop the batteries out of this thing and put them back in, it might reset!" Whoop Whoop, it worked and now I am a few notches above soon to be fired for messing with the labeler list!

I got banned again.

Sad Face.

It's how I roll.

Recapping The Weekend

Cruel: recapping the weekend

Why do I call this cruel? Because it's the truth. I don't watch FOX News, CNN, MSNBC New FOR A REASON!! It bores me and I don't have cable or satellite. Someone thinks that since I don't have these fantastic channel, they must recap the whole weekend in politics, filibusters, committees, women who have no business being in Washington, blah blah blah blah....

Once last week, as I was being lectured, I drifted off, when I brought myself back to the conversation I asked "How are you kin to these people again?" the answer was this..."Um, I'm not I was talking about Sara Palin and Nancy Pelosi"...oh, my bad.

(I probably did not even spell those two names right)

I have already been lectured this morning, watched some political recap that was apparently hooolarious, and discussed why this woman "LOOKED" like a democrat the minute she walked on stage.

This Monday morning chat is at the top of the list tied with my most favorite thing to do....figure out how white is the paper and how heavy the paper is...

And you all thought working at the funeral home was all about embalming...

NOT