Jr. High Romance and More

Rewind to the week of September 14.

We were all happy for Mary Margaret. She finally has a boyfriend. I knew the grandparents, all was good. She was so excited, she tells everybody she sees.
(I'm going to speak MM's language now.)
He was like, okay, like, no really, he was like, um okay this is how it was, he was like, OMGosh I'm just gonna say it, like don't tell anyone we go out, like he might want to keep this private. Mary Margaret was like okay, here it goes, like I told him, um okay, like but I've already told a lot of people. He was like texting me saying like, well, he was cleaning his room and he was like how many people? MM was like about 20. He was like, great. So, the next day at school, he was like all sitting in his desk and well then maybe he walked down the hall and he was like, well I guess its okay to tell people.

Seriously, people, this is what I listen to. The stories go on forever. I feel very tired when its over.

They are all excited about going to the movies on Friday night. They text all weekend. Monday, September 21, Mary Margaret goes on an FBLA trip with the school. I ask for a text letting me know they made it safe, they were getting ready to leave, and one when they make it to Wynne. Taylor also went on this trip. Taylor texted me all day long. I texted Mary Margaret a couple of times and was answered "g2g" each time. I thought that it was odd that Taylor was texting but MM couldn't. Never got the texts that I asked for.

But the boyfriend did. He had stayed home. 200 incoming and outgoing text messages. She texted him and told him when they left Jonesboro and when they made it to Wynne. Those were MY texts.

This Friday was supposed to be the BIG date night. School lets out on Friday, he has missed school because he was sleepy, he sends her a text that says, "I can't do this anymore, I'm breaking up with you, we have nothing in common."

She was boyfriendless from 3:30 P. M. Friday to 7:30 P. M Friday. She found a new one that night. Whoop Whoop! He's a year older. She doesn't talk with all the 'likes', 'ums', and 'okays'. He stays on her to get her homework so they can talk, he reminds her to be good so she doesn't get her phone taken away. This is good.

More later...

The love story of Taylor and Brett...they still haven't kissed.

520 Things

This is my 520th post. How fun would it be to list 520 things about me that you may not already know? Y'all keep count now...

-I am a Christian
-Married to High School sweetheart
-Two girls, 13 and 14
-Two brothers, Andy and Scott
-One sister, Delani (25years younger than me)
-Brother #1 lives in Missouri
-Brother #2 lives in Alaska
-Sister lives in Lead Hill
-Middle name is Angelique
-My toes are sporting red polish
-Do not like to paint my finger nails
-I used to love Chinese food (until yesterday, explained at bottom of post)
-Love to take pictures
-I save change
-Bed must be made up before I can sleep in it
-LOVE LOVE LOVE clean sheet night
-Hate Salmon patties
-Like to clean
-Journey is my all time favorite group
-Never had braces
-Have 2 dogs and 1 cat
-Vacuum way too much
-If there is a Vacuum Anonymous, I should be in it
-Don't like to fold clothes
-Favorite color is navy
-I love the I love Lucy Show
-Biggest Looser and Greys Anatomy are my "shows" now
-Haven't had cable or satellite in 12 years
-Dream car is a Convertible Navy Blue Bug with White leather seats
-Talk on the phone too much
-Buy Christmas presents all year
-Procrastinate
-Lived in Wynne all my life
-I'm crazy
-Crazy things happen to me
-1992 Graduate of Wynne High School
-Went to college
-HATE green frogs
-HATE lady bugs and potato bugs
-I play the Piano
-Played the saxophone, tenor saxophone, baritone saxophone and french horn in the high school band
-took violin lessons in the 1st, 2nd and 3rd grade
-love to listen to old country (80's) music
-wish I knew how to play steel guitar
-currently work at a funeral home
-first REAL job was at the County Health Department, stuffing safe sex bags...condoms
-worked for the U. S. Army Corps of Engineers
-Worked for lawyers
-worked at the police department

Enough with that!
Wow, how do some people go on and on and on about themselves? It's taken me 20 minutes to think of this stuff and its really not that great. I don't know myself very well, I'm basically a stranger to me. I remember what I liked to do as a kid more than what I like to do as an adult. My adult life consists of kid chauffeuring, eating, cleaning, working, and very little sleep.

The dislike of Chinese food is explained here.

I loved Chinese food, sometimes had it three times a week. I wanted something quick yesterday at lunch. I decided to go to my favorite Chinese place, China Express. I like the lady that owns it, she always remembers to ask about the girls and Tim. It is buffet. I made my first plate, the bar was kind of empty, so I made a 2nd round. I got the pepper beef, teriyaki chicken, crab ragoons and chicken wings. I was eating fast, trying not to be late for work. The last thing on my plate was the chicken wings. I ate one and then picked up the last one. I took a bite, chewed, noticed it was more crunchy that the other, looked at what I was eating...and that's when I felt it in my mouth...

I could feel the wings on my tongue and its little legs scratching the roof of my mouth...

stupid me, I swallowed what I had chewed and spit out the remainder which was only half of the FLY. There were other flies fried to the chicken wing. These flies did not land after the chicken was put on the bar, they were COOKED with the chicken.

Now I have to go, my stomach is churning again...

Chinese food is ruined for me for a long, long time.

Tune in 2morrow for an exciting update of the Lives of the Teenage Love Affair, I promise its a good one.

P. S.
How freaky is this? Do you remember on all the post about the crazy times I have that I end it with,"Admit it, you all want to be me"? I always knew there would be one person who would try to be me. Dianna, my bestest friend for 14 years, "my person" (Greys Anatomy), tried to be me yesterday. She could have picked a better day to try to be me, I do have good days sometimes...

She was at home, innocently finishing dinner and sat her canned drink down for a minute. Shelby, her youngest, took a swig. Dianna hates it when folks drink her drink and backwash. She picked up her can and noticed it was almost empty, finished it off and there was a something, like a piece of meat, she said in her mouth. She thought that Shelby had backwashed and that it could be taco meat. She spit out A HUGE HAIRY FLY.

How freaky is that? Both of us, in the same day? AND she had just finished telling her family about my fly encounter.

Late last night, while waiting to pick up kids, we were texting each other, like at 11 pm. We placed blame for our days frustrations on the fact that we both ate flies. I thought about it for a minute and texted her this..."The flies were just innocent bystanders, they did not ask to be dinner". Don't you all think that we were wrong in blaming those poor innocent flies?

Do you all want to be me?

Farmville

For months I've heard, "I'm plowing!" or "I just harvested my eggplants" and "You've got to start farming and be my neighbor". One person even races to town early in the mornings to start plowing. I've heard its addictive. I decided to try it out this weekend.

Farmville on Facebook...

I checked out every one's farm. My friend Rachel, has animals line up by the dozens. Dianne is a serious farmer, her wireless Internet was down this week and I thought we would have to admit her into Farmer's Anonymous. All the farms are cute and so are the little farm people.

But...

It's too time consuming.
I joined up, asked some people to be my neighbor, plowed my land, and planted my seeds. Let the good times roll. I waited, and waited, and then break time was over. Signed in yesterday and everything I planted on Friday had died. My strawberries withered up and died before I could harvest them, so did my pumpkins. Now I have to remember to sign in and check on things, plus remember all me real life duties, laundry, dinner, dishes, groceries and junk. OMGosh, the pressure. How can I keep up with Farmville and Butlerville all at the same time?

I helped some of the neighbors out and cleaned up weeds and leaves. It takes forever to earn enough points to buy a house, barn, or really nice seeds to plant.

Random: Mary Margaret is sick and stayed home with me today instead of going to her grandparents...she is making me loose my train of thought.....

Anyhoo...

I probably will not be a farmer. All those ribbon posting and point posting annoys me on Facebook. I want to see what everyone has to say, not that they've won some points on Farmville, Yoville, Mafia Wars, Farmstown and all those other games.

I tried.

Thangs R Gettin Interesting Round Here

Thangs are heating up here in Butlerville.

I know, you are all shocked!

I now have TWO teenagers with BOYFRIENDS.

Mary Margaret finally found her one. He's not to happy about me going to the movies with them either.

AND I've seen a picture of him. He better be nice. He's a typical Mary Margaret pick.

Too bad so sad.

Boys, Work and Gnats

BOYS
I went on a date. A real date. You know, the kind of date where you are all nervous, you sweat, you check your breath to see if it stinks, that kind of date. I went Friday.

Not with Tim.

Put your eyebrows down, hang up the phones, and stop saying "Well, I knew...". I'm not cheating on my husband. I went on a date with Taylor and Brett. She brushed her teeth like 3 times, plus used mouth wash, and chewed gum all the way there. She tried on three or four different outfits and finally settled on a blue jean skirt (to the knee) and a polo shirt. She straightened her hair and put on MAKEUP AND she wore flats not FLIP FLOPS.

We dropped Mary Margaret off at the skating rink and we headed to pick up Brett. Taylor says we need to have a serious discussion. Okay. Should I kiss him? ....tires screeching... What? If he kisses me should I kiss him? If you want to. Okay, well you can't look.

Okie Dokie.

Do y'all remember the last movie I took them to? Sex in the opening scene? Wellllll they went their way, I sat one row behind them and "I'llbedagnabit" the opening scene was a naked rear end which led right to a sexy scene. "Time Travelers Wife" is good, but there is an abundance of naked bootay. The male bootay. Apparently the Time Traveler travels naked, he can't carry his clothes with him. Have you ever seen "Somewhere In Time" or "The Lake House" ? Same story line.

Anyhoo, back to the date. I saw them actually talk to each other in the movie this time. Taylor was still very stone like and again, this girl did not eat in front of Brett at the movies. We went to Sonic while we were waiting on MM to finish at the skating rink, they both ordered sweet tea AT THE SAME TIME. They looked at each other and smiled real big. Later, Taylor said, I knew he would like sweet tea, we are made for each other.

AWwwwwwww.

We've picked up Mary Margaret and it's time to take Brett home. They asked me to park at the end of his driveway, so they could walk up it and talk. It's a dark driveway. Mary Margaret was getting a little huffy, cause she just knew they would kiss.

Taylor gets back in the van. HUGE smile. I'm about to cry, cause I just know my baby got kissed.

Taylor: We discussed kissing and decided to just hug this time.

Mary Margaret and I both let our breath out. Whew. Still my baby.

Later we discussed this kissing thing while we were ALL piled up in my LITTLE bed. Tim was doing his little nervous laugh and rubbing his eyes thing when things get UNCOMFORTABLE. Mary Margaret stomped off cause she's tired of hearing about the DATE. Tim, wanting to get away from this subject, asks a total guy question...

Tim: Have you farted in front of Brett yet?
Taylor: (laughs until she cries) Nope, not yet, and I'm not going to.
Me:Ya know they are still at that point in their relationship where you hold in the gas until you get into a big crowd so you can pass it off on someone else.
I tell her about my dates with Tim. Tim never passed gas in front of me. NEVER. But the wires in that Toyota Landcruiser were ALWAYS burning or we were always getting CLOSE TO WEST MEMPHIS. Now, 18 years later, I get no warning and no excuses, and they smell worse. Gag you.

Moving right along...

WORK
At work, Bill G. has challenged Taylor and Mary Margaret. Taylor's challenge is to be the one to do the kissing and he'll give her $5. There has been much discussion about this. Taylor wants the $5, but doesn't want to be the one to do the kissing. She wants Brett to make the first move. So, she wants to trick Bill and tell him she did to get the money. Didn't work. He sneaked around and asked me if I saw them kiss and I said no, I don't think they kissed. I had no idea what was going on.

The next challenge I was present for...
Bill G. challenged Mary Margaret to not kiss a boy until she's 18 and he'll give her $500.
MM: For Real?
BG: Yup.
MM: Will it come out of your bank account?
BG: Why does that matter? You get $500 not matter where it comes from.
MM: OH, it matters. If you get it from the bank you might give me cash.
BG:Um, okay. Kaye, what do you feed this child?
ME: Oh, I bet this conversation is going to be great in about 10 seconds....
MM: Okay...here's the deal, I'll wait to kiss a guy until I'm 18 and instead of $500 you give me $10.00. Now that's a deal.
BG: (raises his eyebrows at me) I'll take it.

She still hasn't realized she just knocked herself out of $490, plus she has to wait until she's 18 to get TEN DOLLARS.

GNATS
We have gnats. I don't know why. Help!

Part II, Parent Visitation

Cinder-MaryMargaret and Cinder-Taylor (thanks Emma) were at home, sitting on pins and needles, calling me every five minutes just to check and see that I was still doing fine at Parent Visitation all night last night.

Cinder-MaryMargaret was one day away from earning her cell phone privileges back. She vacuumed, took care of the washer and dryer, feed all the animals, AND did all her homework, without me asking. She called me once from Taylor's phone just to tell me she loved me and hoped that I was doing ok at the Jr. High, cause she knows how stressful just being there can be.

STOP LAUGHING AND SNORTING. She was truly worried about me.

Be right back....


Okay, had to wipe my eyes I was laughing so hard.

Cinder-MaryMargaret's Parent Visitation outcome: NO DRAMA, she's a very good kid, works hard, sometimes doesn't turn in all her homework, quiet (apparently quiet only at school) but all in all good reports. Decent grades, two need to come up, and they will or I will own a Motorola Hint, iPod Nano, Digital TV, awesome jewelry, cool shoes, etc. and I will have a spotless house!

Cinder-Taylor called me and texted me every 5 minutes, just wondering if I had made it to her teachers yet. She changed the trash in ALL the rooms and did her homework and then of course, called her main squeeze, Brett. She was not nearly as sugar sweet as Cinder-Mary Margaret and she surely wasn't worried about me being stressed in the Jr. High.

Cinder-Taylor's Parent Visitation outcome: NO DRAMA, she's quiet, hard worker, always finishes her work, turns everything in on time, reminds the Science teacher that there was supposed to be a pop quiz and made whole class mad at her, asked the math teacher for more homework and finally in English she apparently will not shut up. Many of you know Taylor. She does not talk. I think maybe the teacher must be confused. She has one grade that needs to come up or she will be without a cell phone, iPod, TV, no more High School Musical or Hair Spray every night.

Believe it or not, there is such a thing as too much..."We're all in this to-ge-ther" or "I Love You Bal-ta-mor" (I know it's spelled wrong, spelling it like the girl sings it every night in Taylor's room and ear splitting volumes).

Sorry y'all, but it looks like Butler Diaries may be headed toward the other side of the mountain known as BORING.

Could it be true?

Insert Creepy Jaws Theme Song

Are you playing the theme song from "Jaws" over and over in your head?

If you are not, hurry up.

Okay...

I've been waiting...

quietly...

for a long time...

it's finally here...





4 1/2 WEEKS PARENT VISITATION!!!!

This is where we stand...
Mary Margaret is one day away from getting ungrounded from her phone. Could her phone privileges be on shaky ground?

Could her 5th Quarter Partying days be numbered?

Will I have a new iPod tonight?

Taylor is not grounded at this present time.
Could her nights of talking and texting Brett come to an end?

Will I have TWO new iPods tonight?

Will they both be scrubbing floors, washing clothes, dusting ceiling fans, scrubbing toilets, cooking dinner all while reciting Arkansas History, Math, Greek Mythology and other junk?

Yeah, I was dreaming. They probably will not cook dinner. HA!

OR will it be like last year when I found out...
about
Lies, Forgery, and Confessions

In ancient Greece times I would be the 2nd Government in command...the TYRANT!

I learned that this week!

To Be Continued...

Back at the Track

We made it back to the track and I'm still ALIVE!

Barely.

Mary Margaret, who has been shooting her mouth off about how she's gonna run, get in shape for Track Season, was a big BABY! We walked around the track once. She was fine. The second trip around the track we jogged the straight and walked the curve. I take that back. I jogged the straight and walked the curve and Mary Margaret jogged/walked bent over saying she thought she was having spasms everywhere. She had to stop and take a break, then wanted to know if we had water in the van, then wanted to just sit in the van and wait for us to finish.

I made her finish and she is still breathing.

Taylor invited Brett and they walked together. Poor Taylor. It was humid outside and her iPod would not work. The humidity makes her hair go wild. Hair was going everywhere, it scared me.

Now, I'm going to sign off and go kick some teenage boo-tay in Wii Tennis and maybe a little boxing too.

I'm still not brave enough to tackle the yoga.

Can I Slow Down Yet?

The last two weeks have just been like I've took the plunge down a waterfall that never stops.

I did not have to work this weekend. Whoop Whoop.

What did I do with all this free time? Our church sponsors a little thing called 5th Quarter, which I signed up to work and I signed up my sisterinlaw Dianne, cause I'm just nice that way. Anywhoo, after the home football games, we open up the youth room and serve drinks, snacks and play loud music for the teens to come enjoy and have a safe place to gather after the game.
Taylor invited her boyfriend Brett. Aren't they cute?

Let's talk about Taylor. She has blossomed overnight. She takes more time with her hair, makeup and clothes. She has several friends and Brett calling her now. She has become a little social bug.

She has become a history buff this year.
Taylor: A fireman came to visit our school.
Me: What did he talk about
Taylor: He was in the Civil War.
Me: What? No he wasn't.
Taylor: Oh, yes he was. He fought in the civil war.
Mary Margaret: That was the war that was fought because of the north did not like the south having slaves. (I had to shake my head and turn around to see if I have picked up the wrong child from piano lessons.)
Me: Wow, Mary Margaret, that's great that you remember that.
MaryMargaret: Yeah, I'm getting smart. I remember the civil war because Memaw and Pepaw lived through that and the Great Depression.
ME to MYSELF: Yep, I picked up the right child.

Mary Margaret's social life seems to have come to a stand still. She still does not have a boyfriend and seems to be having a hard time fitting in with the girls at school this year too. She doesn't have classes with very many girls that she knows. I'm sure things will even out eventually. Aren't Jr. High girls strange anyway? Who knows what they'll do next, right? I have an example!!!

Yes, really I do, surprising I know.

The girls and I went to Jonesboro, Saturday, to pick up a few school clothes and just get away. The girls have saved a little money and it was burning a hole in their purses, I mean those purses were SMOKING. Mary Margaret buys socks in Rue 21. I didn't pay attention to them at all. She leaves the store, runs out to the "old man" couch and puts them on. Still, I didn't look at them. We get to the restaurant to eat and she goes to the bathroom. It took her FOREVER to come back to the table. When she comes back, hips swinging, flipping her hair back and forth, really struttin her stuff, I SEE THE SOCKS. She has been to the bathroom, rolled up her pants to her knees, and put on one of each sock. They are knee socks and they ROCK! (her words not mine). Words can not describe what she looked like.

I have noticed that a lot of my friends who around my age like to eat sushi. I personally do not like it. When we were in Little Rock last weekend, I saw sushi in the oddest place...
Wal-Mart

Since we are not that sophisticated and sushi is not for us, we dine redneck style...Ron's Catfish Buffet, voted best crawfish for 5 years straight! It would be my favorite place to eat shrimp, fish and CRAWFISH.
Mary Margaret diggin' in!

Stay tuned for more from Butler Diaries as we hit the track tomorrow! Getting our fitness on!

Schools and Boys

SHOUT OUT! I have a new reader. She stopped by own her own. Didn't twist her arm or anything. (I would have said "nothing" but, I had a gramar lesson this afternoon from an 8th grader who believes the only punctuation one should use is an exclamation point.) My SHOUT OUT is for Anna K. over at Everyday Occasions stop by and check her out. Y'all be nice and don't scare her away, yet.

Don't ya just love school? Let's narrow that down a little. Don't ya just love Jr. High? Just last week we were on the verge of moving to Siberia because we were...

(Insert creepy Twilight Zone music)

MAKING MARY MARGARET WEAR...

SHIRTS WITH A COLLAR.

We survived by putting all the shirts with collars out of sight, out of mind. (She will wear them on the weekends, no one expects you to be cool then, half of the kids wear the pj's to town anyway, at least she'll be dressed!)

The homework has not been too bad, yet. Taylor made her first F on a test since the 1st grade. She spent Monday night talking to Brett her boyfriend when she should have been finishing her study guide and studying.

Just last week both girls were living the single life and now, Taylor has a steady boyfriend, her real first boyfriend too. They are in love. He is going to Destin, Florida this weekend. I overheard them discussing tee shirts that he wants to buy them while he's there. They can't decide to get shirts that say Brett & Taylor or Taylor & Brett...it's a big serious decision.

Mary Margaret is single and just found out that she missed out on a cute guy. She has texted him for a week and a half and just found out today that he is now taken. He said...he wasn't sure if MM liked him or not. Now she is pouting and extremely jealous of Taylor's love life. She is scared to death that Taylor is going to get her first kiss before her. Got news for her...Taylor wouldn't even look at Brett during their ONE date, I don't think theres any chance of lip locking going on with those two, especially since I'm sitting a row behind them at ALL MOVIES. Some readers might accuse me of being, what was it...a fascist cause I go to the movies to control things.

We are headed to Hot Springs to Magic Springs this weekend with sisterinlaw Nicole for one last girls weekend for the summer. If I decide to stop being lazy, I'll be closing up the pool this coming week, hopefully.

And coming soon...
We're getting back on track with the exercise, dieting and Wii. I have to get batteries for the Wii Fit. I've used it so much I ran down the batteries. Stop laughing.

Okay

Truth is, I've neglected it ALL summer and the batteries ran down. I had a good excuse, I couldn't get it to work with the cock-a-mamie digital convertor box, course we all know now that all I needed to do was just turn off the convertor box. Anywhooo...The Wii knows I love it, sometimes we all grow apart, but I'm warming up to it again.

Bikini time next summer.

STOP LAUGHING.
Joanna...stop snorting, seriously. I'll have Tim in a bikini by next summer! Oh, Y'all thought I was gonna wear the bikini. Ha ha ha now that is funny.

I think Tim will look great in speedos.

Maybe we could get matching swimwear.

That's how we roll.

Surpise Dianna

A few pictures from Dianna's surprise birthday party...
Dianna and Paul

Taylor, Dianna, and Shelby

Dianna and Me

Happy 40th Birthday to...

Happy 40th Birthday to my friend Dianna.

There would have been pictures of our lunch together, but she ditched Dianne and I for her work buddies, just cause they COOKED for her. Whatever.

I'm sorry to disappoint those of you who thought it was MY 40TH birthday, that won't happen for me for another five 20 years.

Blogging has been slow for me cause we have been busy at the funeral home and I have been coming home and literally sitting in my chair staring at the boob tube, while I go back to Jr. High and complete the 7th and 8th grade help with homework, I just realized, that with two kids, its like going to school THREE TIMES. Yes, I was yelling that ON top of my lungs.

I have a lot to blog about, its all coming soon. I'm making a mental note. WHAT was that Joanna? You think my mental notes need a secretary? You are right, want the job?

Shout out to Clay and Wattles...I have a post involving her later this week.

Beth, hon, the Feature Blog, I hate to say, has been up for a while, like since you posted that funny do-dah about your husband. HaHa...I almost typed "our" husband instead of "your" husband. Wouldn't that be fun explaining?

More to come...

Quickie...
Mary Margaret: What are you always boiling chicken eggs?
ME: (looking at the CHICKEN eggs in my hands) Um, what other eggs can I boil besides chicken eggs?
MM: You are boiling the chicken eggs straight from Clayton's chickens bottom, why don't you use those from the store?
ME: Um, those are chicken eggs too.
MM: No, they come from the STORE.
ME: THEY HAVE TO COME FROM THE CHICKEN FIRST!!!!!
MM: Never mind.

Keep in mind that my van clock is only a few minutes slow, so it should be close to 7:45 AM...

ME: Girls what time do your phones have so I can set the van clock?
MM: Mine's off
Taylor: 8:49
ME: What??
Taylor: 8:49
Me: did you get that off your phone?
Taylor: No, off the Wynne Jr. High School Sign
ME: they have a clock on their sign? since when? (I look around)
Taylor (pointing to the brick wall that says....
wynne jr. high
849
Eldridge
Look its right there on that wall.
ME: That's their address
Taylor: looked like a clock to me.

That's how we roll. Confusion is our queen.