Nothing Really

Thinking today...

Just wishing I could share a McDonald's Coke and Double Cheeseburger with Papaw Clark today.

Missing him. Click here John Logan Clark

Merry Christmas!!!

Merry Christmas to everyone!

It's 9:30 AM Christmas morning. Everyone, except me, slept in today. Everyone here is to old for Santa, so no 4AM wake up call for us, yay!

Last night the girls opened up the traditional PJ's, underwear and socks. Aren't they cute in our 14th annual Christmas Eve PJ in front of the tree picture?

Mary Margaret made Taylor sick. After taking this cute picture, she let one rip, loud and stinky...

For those of you who think only guys can RUIN Christmas by passing enormous amounts of gas...

Now for Christmas morning. The girls got mostly clothes this year. One big present and a few Wii games. I hit pay dirt at Victoria Secrets this year. I had coupons for free panties, so I used them. The panties were opened up this morning not last night. You know how girls like to model everything, so as soon as Tim went back to bed, they started. Taylor was first. Her first outfit was too cute, a Gap Hoodie, Aero Jeans, FAKE Ugg boots, and she said she had on one pair of the new underwear from Victoria Secrets and they felt soft. She runs to try on other clothes and underwear. It takes a long time. So long that Mary Margaret goes on and gets it the shower. Finally Taylor emerges, with only her underwear on. I nearly choked on my Andes Chocolate Mints that I bought myself for Christmas. I was already sitting on the floor so I didn't fall far and bodily harm was not done. SHE HAD ON A THONG SIDEWAYS. She says, "Um, Kaye, this is broken or its a thong!"

I so did not know that I picked up a thong. I really thought I picked up regular panties.

I laughed so hard I cried.

I'm laughing again right now.

She said that she hid the thong deep in her underwear drawer where nobody could ever find it. She said that it is embarrassing to even own a pair of thongs.

Mary Margaret is mad that I didn't accidentally pick up the wrong panties for her.

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM BUTLER FAMILY DIARIES!

Christmas Decorations

This is not going to be a long post. Not even a post about my own decorations.

When I saw this on my cousin's blog, I cracked up. I have never seen this many decorations before EVER. This person even has Charlene beat.

Begina...hope you don't mind the link to your blog... click on the red below...

If you don't already know...I DO NOT LIKE The Blow up Christmas AT ALL. So this house would really, really annoy me.

Christmas Decorations, too much?

A Comment That Became a Post

I was leaving a comment on Bro. Matt's blog. I realized that maybe it was just a tad bit too long.

Bro. Matt wanted to know our thoughts on Santa....do or don't

I did Santa Claus for the girls. I made a huge deal out of it. I'm not one to go half way. I wrote letters back from Santa, not just to my girls, but to all of my nieces and nephews and even my little sister (who is 25 years younger than me), I made hoof marks on our deck, we made reindeer feed, one year, they all received a retired sleigh bell from Santa. Gosh, I might have went over board. Our Santa always shared his love of Jesus with each one of them, which does NOT make it right. I am guilty of making a bigger deal out of Santa than it being Jesus Birthday, in the past.

As a kid, Santa always came, but I don't remember it being a big deal. What I do remember most, mom telling us the Christmas story, saving our change for Lottie Moon Offering and putting it those envelopes (we probably used 50 envelopes each, we didn't cash in our change we put all that change in those envelopes), I even remember what those envelopes looked like, Christmas our Dad went to church with us and I was so proud, and of course, I remember my Papaw Clark leading the singing at his country church in his big loud out of key booming voice.

He referenced an article, one of the points in the article was about the Christmas Tree, kind of do or don't. Our tree is all about memories, which is silly I guess, I really don't need a tree and ornaments to remember my grandparents, brothers, parents, do I? It makes me feel good to put it up and remember. It's fun to share those special moments with the girls, who want to hear each story behind each ornament, even though they've heard it a hundred times.

I love tradition, I love hearing the girls ask...when are we gonna...we always....etc. It's not the trips to the mall they ask about, its the simple things, like the hot chocolate, which family we are going to visit on what day, are we gonna put the tree up on your birthday, etc.

Looking back, would I do it the same way? I'm leaning heavily towards no. Kids are crushed when they find out that Santa isn't real. I can see this scenario playing out..." Well, if Santa isn't real, I bet Jesus isn't real either." Catch my drift?

I'll leave you hanging...

Pictures from Glennallen, Alaska

My little brother has got the picture fever. I'm Loving It! His dog Amos is just the cutest little thing. I have to say that Scottie is doing pretty good with his camera. I edited these for him, changed them to black and white and played with the contrast just a little. You know I'm a sucker for the black and white pictures, the are always my favorite.




Has anyone come up with idea's on how to get rid of POTATO BUGS? I still have them and dislike them tremendously.

It's Begining to Look A Lot Like Christmas

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, everywhere I go...

Holiday cheer is contagious! WRVR, The River is playing continuous Christmas music, the funeral home is all decorated, the city is alive with lights and here at Butler Manor, we have CHRISTMAS TREES GALORE!

Mary Margaret and Taylor get handmade ornaments from their Aunt Judy and Grandmother each year (on their mom's side). Their collection has out grown the little 3 foot trees we bought years ago for their rooms. This week I decided to get them a full size tree, a 5 footer. Their trees are loaded with decorations and their rooms look so cheerful and cozy. Notice: Zac Efron is not a Christmas decoration, he is a permanent fixture in Taylor's pink room.

I mentioned to Mary Margaret that the trees would last a long time and that she would treasure her ornaments for a lifetime...then I said, "And you'll have a nice tree and ornaments to start off with in your first home or apartment." She looked like I had slapped her. "What's wrong?" I asked. She says real quietly, "Um, so, um, well, No one ever told me I was gonna have to move out. What's that all about? And why do I have to move? I wasn't planning on moving until like I'm 25, you know, really old." Funny, but so pure and innocent. Made my heart swell.

Tradition is a huge part of Christmas. Tradition here until last year was to put the tree up on my birthday. Lives get so busy, I missed it last year and this year. There are some traditions that just can't be broken, like, the angel my Brawner grandparents gave me goes in the exact same spot on the tree every year for the last 25 years, I use my childhood stocking that my mother made and it is still beautiful and makes me miss being a kid untouched by the reality of being an adult (and makes me miss mom), the sleigh bells go on the front door to "catch" Santa with, popcorn string is the finishing touch to the tree, and so many more.

We have new traditions too. We started about 5 years ago making homemade hot chocolate the day the tree goes up, we sit around the tree and admire it and sip our hot chocolate, we take a picture of the girls in front of the tree each year, I love making memories with this family of mine.

My favorite decorations, there are so many, are not the ones that I bought on a whim, but the ones that mean something. The tree skirt that Andy's wife made me several years ago, I think about their family as I unwrap it and spill a few tears cause I miss those guys so much! Amanda also made the bears under the tree for MM and Taylor, they are a new tradition too, they have front row seats in front of the tree each year.

I own one piece of Waterford Crystal, courtesy of my little brother, Scottie way off in Alaska. I haven't seen him in person in a couple of years, which breaks my heart, cause it sure would feel good to give him a hug (and I'm not just saying that cause he reads this blog either!)

The frosty and kids in this picture came in a flower arrangement the day I was born...so they are really really old, like 36 years old.

Merry Christmas a little early. I hope each one of you know how special you all are to me.

What are your traditions? What makes it special for you?

Work Humor

This has been a most hectic week at the funeral home. Phones ringing, ringing and ringing, people calling my name, funerals to work, insurance claims to file and of course wonderful company.

I love my job, hearing aides, moth balls, wrong numbers, foreign telemarketers claiming to be my local Yellowpages Representatives, pecans jobbers, orange jobbers and the perfume pusher that came in as a funeral began...oh, and don't forget the negativity...love it all!

A few funnies from this week...

Today...
A little background first. The funeral home has a number that you can listen to the funeral information. We also have an Answering Service. I have to swap the funeral home phone to the Answering Service and also remember to do the funeral home recording.

I'm swapping the phones this afternoon and thinking ahead of what to do next which is to record...

Dial all the numbers
Ring Ring
Lady at Answering picks up...
and I say...
"Thank you for calling the Kernodle Funeral Home Information Number, Kernodle Funeral Home has no services..."
The Answering Service lady clears her throat and says "Um, you called me mam...."
So I did.
Hardy har har, ROTFLOL!!!!


Earlier this week...
I answered, Kernodle Funeral Home, this person says, "This isn't Regions Bank?" I said no mam, it's Kernodle Funeral Home, to which she replies....."Are You Sure?", yes I"m sure. Is this 2324? Yes mam it is. Hm, You are sure this is not Regions Bank... now she has me wondering, I look around and think that I'm pretty sure I'm at Kernodle Funeral Home...but maybe I didn't go to work at the right place today LOL it doesn't take much to confuse old folks like me...

And this...
What kind of bodies do you have up there?
(How do you respond to that one?)


Next post...my surprise visit to Wynne Jr. High in the middle of the day and a few pictures from Taylor's Christmas Choir Concert.

Whoo Hooo...I'm still here...really

It's that time of year.... IT'S LADY JACKET BASKETBALL SEASON....GO JACKETS!
We've been doing TONS of this...

We found time one Saturday morning while Tim was Duck hunting to do a little of this...

I think Mary Margaret likes Drake don't you?
I've turned 36 since I last posted. Over the hill. I know. What did I do to celebrate my birthday? Facebook exploded with tons of birthday wishes, talked to my Dad, my brother, his wife, my little sister, of course my Home Girls...Dianna and Dianne. We had a birthday dinner at the inlaws and then I headed to church to decorate my table for Glorious Gift of Christmas, the Women's Christmas Dinner. This is my table...the first formal table I've ever had to set. Yes the Internet was involved in the place settings...lol. Shined up the China that's been packed away for 20 years and off I went to the church to decorate. This is the end result...

There were roughly 700 women there the two nights combined. I'll just list the ones at my table...ha ha. My home girls..ha ha left to right, ME, Dianna Moore, Phillis Kernodle (boss #1 wife), Camelia Kernodle (boss #2 wife hiding behind the centerpiece) Vicky Vest, Vianna Brumley (Vicky's mom), Susan Williams (Empty chair, can you believe she went to see her daughter's Christmas Play?) and last, Dianne Billings (Empty Chair, she was sickly)

The Rejoice Singers were outstanding! Always love to listen to them.

Mary Margaret was a server for both nights. She only hit Vicky in the head once with her tray. She said the second night was tough. She got a table full of ladies that she did not know and they wore her out she said.

Me and Sandy Brawner

And finally Dianna and I. We did not plan this at all. Seriously.

The speaker for the dinner was Jennifer Sands, whose husband died in Tower 1 on 9/11, he was on the 103 floor where the first plane hit. Her story is amazing. If you haven't heard her speak or may not have the chance, she has written 3 books, find them and read her amazing story and testimony.

Do you want to know how the centerpiece looks on my table at home?

Sike.

It's too big for my kitchen table at home, I carried it to work!

I know....

I know, I've been a horrible blogger lately. Honestly, there really has not been that much going on. We are gearing up for Christmas. My tree is in the box but on the front porch.

This week has been busy. Monday-home basketball game, Tuesday-away basketball game, Wednesday-church, Thursday-away basketball game and I don't even want to think about what I have to get done over the weekend. Housework? Lacking. Getting home late at night, nothing gets done. These people around here just fling their clothes wherever and expect ME to pick them up. ha!

Taylor is the one playing basketball this year for the 7th Grade Wynne Lady Jackets. Monday was their first official game. They didn't just loose, they got STOMPED. Taylor, bless her heart, was told to guard her man, she did alright,HER OWN TEAM! Taylor was wide open, coach says get the ball to Taylor.....she throws her hands up in front of her face and ducks from the ball! She was not alone. At one point the whole team was playing ball at the wrong end of the court AND they scored! Sadly that 2 pointer did not count. At Tuesday's away game, they won!!!!! 8 to 4. Taylor did awesome, with Taylor sitting on the bench, the bench stayed right where it was supposed to! I love my little bench warmer!

First game, Taylor is #34.

2nd game...bench warmer!

Mary Margaret is in love with Zack. Zack is in love with Mary Margaret. They are each other's air, reason for living, heart and soul. She looks at him and her heart melts. He looks at her with puppy dog eyes and hangs on her every word, even the crazy words. He laughs at her blondeness....she seriously said that her favorite part of Romeo and Juliette was when Juliette suicided herself. Seriously. He comes over a lot. He seems to be a good kid so far. They kiss ALOT.

Still Restless

Im not as restless. It's getting better. Someone told me I was being ridiculous (that was lover girl). It's not like she's getting married or anything. They are just hanging out and talking. I freaked when she read me a txt message she sent him....she said "you are my air"

erkkkk....record stopping rewinding...

Now just wait one dang minute there missy. You are borrowing my air and I didn't say you could loan it out. Suck it back in right now!!! Take that back. You've never said that I was your air and I FEED you ALOT, wash your clothes, dry your hair so you'll look PERFECT for WHATSHISFACE.

She looked like a deer in headlights. I don't think she knew what to say.

So I chilled. I made ME a mixed CD of weepy songs and turned all the lights out in the WHOLE house and laid in the living room floor, turned on the surround sound and listened to Bon Jovi convince me to "Never Say Goodbye" and a little KISS, Hinder, Bryan Adams, all old friends of mine.

Didn't help.

I can see loneliness creeping around the coroner. When they both start dating, it will be just me and my surround sound. I think I'll start building a basement this afternoon to lock them in. That will probably get me in trouble and then I 'll have a concrete cell and a roommate. Hmm I need a new plan.

Both girls kept coming to the living room asking if I was okay.

I think Taylor is scared I'll never let her date.

She's probably right.

Restless

Has it really been that long since I posted?

I am feeling restless. I don't know how to explain it. Worried? Impending doom is coming? I wish I could shake it. I think I know what part of the problem is, it's the other "unknown" problem that is driving me batty and there was a little "real momma" drama this weekend for the girls, which is a touchy subject for both of them.

It's hunting season around my neck of the woods. Sitting out on the deck early Sunday morning, listening to the leaves rustle, expecting Freckles or Pepper to show up, but instead, I get a man decked out in hunter's orange standing there staring at me....kind of creepy I tell ya.

I think he was lost.

Taylor's basketball season has started up. I can't believe that I am admitting this...but I miss basketball! I'll have some pictures up soon of Lady Jacket #34! She is one serious ball player.

Mary Margaret is in love. She's better when she's in love. She's not so moody in love. She talks WAY more when she's in love. My sister-in-law says its like having FACEBOOK LIVE all the time. He's a cute kid and has nice manners. It's scary for me. I want to throw a hissy fit and be all selfish and say she's not allowed to grow up. It's supposed to be just me, MM and Taylor for our whole lives. That's not fair is it? I'm not ready to be a lonely old lady at the ripe old age of 21.


What?

I am too 21.

Drama Truth

Brett called Mary Margaret this morning to tell her he broke up with Taylor for another girl.

He did not tell Taylor.

Tyler broke up with Mary Margaret last night for another girl.

Today is a sad day.

I'm living in Dramaville.

And These Are the Days of Our Lives

Chapter One
As the early this morning as the light streamed in the pink bedroom of one Baskeball SuperStar, Taylor Butler, she realizes that her world is crumbling around her. She realizes the dream that she had last night was not a dream, but a real life horror story. The scene replays in her head...
Man of Her Dreams texted her, "Um, im breaking up wif u". She still could not believe what she was reading. Could it be true? Would she make it through the day? After tossing and turning in her High School Musical Sheets and Butterfly comforter, she realizes that this will not be just a normal day at Wynne Jr. High.

Chapter Two
The Basketball Super Star, looking rad in her Old Navy peace pants, Jason Aldean Shirt and Northface jacket, is walking down the hall to her class. Her heart quickens, her pulse races, as the Man of Her Dreams heads towards her in the hall way, he looks up, their eyes meet, and they both turn and go in the opposite direction. She struggled to wipe away the tears and not shout out, "Why, just tell Why you don't love me anymore!". She was strong. She is beautiful. She is woman. She can make it through the day. As she walked down the hall, she felt the stares, everyone knows. Was she too fat, too loud, not pretty, not smart, did she accidentally fart when he was around? Would she ever know the truth, what could have been?

Chapter Three
After a grueling day at Wynne Jr. High, Basketball SuperStar's phone buzzes. Who would it be? Would it be her true love? It was. He was like, "hey" and she was like "hey" and he was like "hello" and she was like "hello. This deep conversation drug up all those tormenting unanswered questions. She could not go on living this life without knowing the truth. She must find out. She will do whatever it takes to find the truth...

Chapter Four
The phone rings, "hello" he says "hello", call dropped. Her heart races as she tries to call him back. Could this be the call that explains it all? Down the big hill and into cell range.

With unanswered questions still looming she retreats back to her comfort zone, Retail therapy. As her driver pulled up to the local shopping strip, her phone buzzes again. It is him, this time he's calling. He's like, "hey, whatz up?" and she is like "nothing". She's like, "just tell me why you broke up with me, I need to know". And then she was like, "hello, are you there? hello? Hello?" Call dropped. The phone buzzes. He's calling again. She is tired of the games, she asks one final time, "Just tell me why!" He was like "I have a reason, its....." she is like "hello, are you there? hello just answer me! Please" call dropped. Can you hear me now?

She is growing weary of the mind games and apparently her people from Verizon are not following as closely as they do in the commercials. Again, the phone buzzes, this time, she just doesn't care, she hands the phone off to let someone else deal with the DRAMA. Her talented, beautiful, smart, quick witted, high fashioned, yet down to earth ex-step-mother/permanent family member, answers that call. She says, "Helloooww?" In her best indifferent voice. He says, with confusion in his voice, "Is Taylor there?" The answer, "No, she's not, may I take a message?" He says, raising his voice an octave, "Hello?" Again, she says " Hello" He says, "Can I talk to Taylor?" The beautiful, quick witted, ex-step-mother looks to her left where Taylor stands, waiting and replies "I'm sorry she's running around shopping." "Oh" he replies. Call ended. She waits, no call, no txt. This looks like it could be the end.

Final Chapter
She starts to feel that the world has turned against her. She looks to her left and right and beings to notice a light straight ahead. It looks like a clearance sign. Could it be? Could it be those cute little blue shorts she has wanted? It is! It Is! And they are are clearance to $3.00. After finding the perfect size, she makes her purchase and heads home, lighter hearted and single again.

Will there be a sequel?
Tune in 2morrow and see...
These Are the Days of Our Butler Manor Lives

In other news, upon Alyssa's arrival, we surveyed the first loose tooth she has been sporting for several weeks. The BOSS of Butler Manor, Kaye, says, "come hear little girl and let me wiggle your tooth". Kaye is an experienced tooth puller and loose teeth get on her last nerves. Kaye looks in the little mouth, grabs the tooth, having no mercy, and pulls down hard. Out pops the tooth. There is lots of blood. Tons of Blood, but promises of the visit of the tooth fairy, and realizing that now she looks older, stops the flow of the tears.

Rainy Day News

We are floating away down here in Arkansas. Tim worked wrecks in the rain all night last night. I think he was home for about 3 hours before heading back out. I think they received their first HUGE tip last night. A dad of a teenage girl, MM's friend, tipped them $100. That's what I call a tip!!!

I wanted to write a funny post today. Things are not funny around here. It is serious.

Lucy is almost down for the count. I took her to get her oil changed this week and she came back with a list of things a mile long. Good news: My wipers are okay, my horn works, and so do my head lights. Bad news: Brakes don't work, brakes leak, tires shot, oil pan leaks, transmission pan leaks, need wheel bearings on the front, the back tire on passenger side (i think) is loose, and there is water in the floor board.

Our roof leaks.

Brett broke up with Taylor in a text message last night after she went to bed.

Mary Margaret is grounded for a bad grade and saying some really mean things to me.

Our electricity is out and my clothes are in the washer.

Good NEWS:
IT'S FRIDAY
TAYLOR MADE THE 7TH GRADE BASKETBALL TEAM!!!!!

Taylor just plugged up her phone and realized that it won't work because the electricity is out. Mary Margaret is laughing at her, should I remind her that she once said..."OMGosh the electricity is out, will the toilet still work". She SO SHOULD NOT BE LAUGHING AT ANYONE!

We are headed to the funeral home to blow dry our hair, only to get back out in the rain and get it wet.

Busy Weekend

Want to know what I've been up to?

Check this out.

ButlerDiariesHobbies

Not My Friend

The new Cannon Copier is not my friend.

I am not speaking to it ever again.

Okay, I might be over dramatizing it a little, teenzie, tiny, microscopic bit.

I'm not speaking to it again today.

That's better.

I think it knows I am annoyed with it and it is laughing at me.

So I turned off the power! Take that! Stupid office equipment!

I've Been Banned Part II

Do you recall that I was banned from certain office equipment recently at work?

Many of you had kinds words, encouraging words, and you lifted me up out of the bottoms of despair, as I was extremely sad that I was banned from the new label maker. I was seriously thinking about trying out for the depression commericals for cymbalta. You, my dedicated friends, saved me. I appreciate your support. SOME of you called to remind me to leave the office equipment alone, I'm not calling names, but the initials are Dianna Moore, she loves me. I got a few text messages that told me to "Step away from the label maker". I took your advice and I am doing better. I've only looked at the label maker, not touched it.
You all wanted to know, "What did you do?"

True Answer: NOTHING. I was breathing that day.

This is the new shinny label maker that I am banned from.

This is the label maker I am allowed to currently use. It's not as fancy as the new one and its all scratched up AND the cutter doesn't work that great.

If I don't dot my i's and cross my t's, or watch my p's and q's I could be reduced to making labels with this...

Yes, this label maker belongs to the funeral home and is still in use today. We have two of these.
Remember that I am banned from the simple office equipment...

BUT

I am allowed to use the NEW COPY MACHINE. Why? Because THEY, the MEN, do not know how to use it. They DEPEND on me to figure everything out and teach them, the MEN, how to use it. Also, the MEN, do not pay attention to ME when I show them how to use it. This causes the MEN to call my name 240,090,049,204,293 times a day, I think I might not have counted each time my name was called, so that could be an incorrect number.
New Cannon Copier that I am allowed to use.


The new copier was delivered Monday by a really nice young lady. She even brought us donuts. I thought after meeting her that we could be friends.

Until...

She started talking paper. Where it comes from, brightness, weight, how the extreme heat and extreme cold constricts the paper causing it to jam your copier. I could have pointed out that I knew about the heat and cold and suggested for the last 7 seven years that the attic was NOT the place to store our paper and NO ONE listened to me, probably because I did not graduate from PAPER COLLEGE. I knew that I should have taken that full scholarship to PAPER COLLEGE way back in 1992.

Look at all the fun I missed out on.

Go figure.

Survivor:D-Now

This past week has been Global Impact for Missions at church. The week ended with a youth retreat at Village Creek State Park, both girls went and had a blast.

I'm sure they stayed up late every night. Taylor said her cabin ate junk food all night Saturday. She stayed up until 11pm. This is a kid who is usually in bed by 7 or 8pm and if she's not in bed by then, the evil comes out.

Taylor came home with her Christmas list made out. Yes, she came home from a retreat with her Christmas list, that's just how this child works. She told Tim that she would be needing one of those trailers that has the rock climbing thing attached to it for Christmas and of course she would be needing all the ropes, a new rock climbing outfit, and rock climbing shoes.



Taylor gave up her nice bed for her leader. She slept on the pull out couch instead. This is big. Huge. Taylor is all about sleeping and sleeping comfortable.

Mary Margaret was all excited about the course her team played. They won Survivor D-Now and were treated to stake dinner for the prize.

Last night both girls were "Out Cold" by 6pm. I did what any normal "mom" figure would do, tucked them in their beds and kissed them good night took a picture of them snoozing and sent it to their boyfriends. Ha. The boys were burning their phones up until that point. I have to say that Taylor should be thankful that I did not video her snoring and pooting. Mary Margaret should be thankful that I did not send the one of her curled up in a ball like a baby sucking her thumb.

haahahahahahahahahah

Let me clear the air, M&M doesn't suck her thumb.

hahahahahahahaha

I Have Been Banned

I have been banned from the new label maker at work.

I do not know why.

I was going to use it yesterday, boss #1 said for me to put it back and use the old one because I was banned from the new one.

I am sad.

I like the new better. It's still shinny, has the most awesome cutter on it, it will do all kinds of fancy fonts and it's blue.

On the UPside...

Remember how way back in another post I told you that my boss #1 knows all about paper? The weight, brightness, etc?

I got a lesson yesterday, after I got banned from the labeler, on where paper comes from. Oak trees make the best slick paper that will not jam up our copier. That is what I learned. I listened for at least 45 mintues to a paper lecture. I also learned that even if your boss tears up the copy machine, it still is your fault. Just because.

Right ON!

Sandy sent me this email...
Ever wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phone?
What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?
What if we flipped through it several times a day?
What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?
What if we used it to receive messages from the text?
What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?
What if we gave it to Kids as gifts?
What if we used it when we traveled?
What if we used it in case of emergency?
This is something to make you go.....hmm......where is my Bible?
Unlike our cell phone, we don't have to worry about our Bible being
disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill.
Makes you stop and think where are my priorities?
And no dropped calls!

It's Fall Y'all, it make us Crazy

It's Fall Y'all! The cooler weather makes us crazy!!! There has been so much goofy junk going on here in Butlerville, where do I begin?

For example...tonight I took the girls to a new Mexican restaurant in town, they giggled the whole time. I was trying to have a serious conversation with them about proper behavior with their boyfriends. They laughed so hard they cried during some of the talk. I blame it on the weather, not the fact that I am 20 years out of the loop. They thought that it was seriously hooooo-larious that I didn't know what the V-card was. FYI: virginity card. Thought you all should be in the know.

The girls are growing up, fast. They have both officially been kissed by boys, nice boys. Mary Margaret and Taylor are so different. Taylor is very private and shy. I have to go to her room for private talks. Taylor said her kiss was two sweet quick kisses on the lips. I asked her if she was okay with the kissing thing and she said..."Wellll yeah". Thursday night I took them all to see Jason Aldean in concert. Taylor came prepared for the end of the night kiss. She said that she sneaked breath mints all night and a bunch right before we dropped her boyfriend off at house. She was NOT going to have stinky breath or crusty teeth. I laughed for a long time.

Mary Margaret on the other hand is going to be the death of me. She goes into way too much detail. I'm glad she still wants to tell me what's going on with her, but there such a thing as WAY TOO MUCH information. Let's just say that her kiss involved the game of tonsil hockey, twice, and she really really liked it. She was still high the next day from the game, strike that, she was still high a week later from the kiss. Her boyfriend asked her in a text message if I knew about them kissing. YES, I read the text messages. They were making fun of me because I am so old and I probably didn't even understand what french kissing was.

So...

I blew her mind...

And told her Tim and I know all about french kissing. Then I grossed her out and told her that I bet even meemaw and peepaw knew about french kissing. Sheesh...she was acting like she invented the kiss.

They don't eat in front of their boyfriends yet and vice versa8. Last night I let the boys come over to our house and watch scary movies. I ordered pizza. They all ate, maybe, two pieces of pizza. So I thought...
Mary Margaret tells me tonight that every time she got up to get more Pepsi, she was really going to the kitchen and stuffing her face really fast with pizza so she didn't have to eat in front of Tyler. She said that she ate three cheese sticks at one time while she poured her drink. Taylor said that she was doing the same thing.
Mary Margaret wants Tyler to think she works hard to keep her figure.

My friend Dianna said...She's keeping her figure and adding to it. So far, I've added a spare bedroom upstairs, two basements around the stomach area, a double wide on each leg and lots of acreage on my backside and there has been talk of a backup beeper being needed. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

I love it when the girls and I let loose and have fun goofy times like this. I'm gonna miss this when they've grown up and have families of their own.

Goofiness is in the air y'all and I LOVE IT.

A few pictures...
Taylor and Brett

Mary Margaret and Tyler

Mary Margaret, Tyler, Brett and Taylor
They THOUGHT these were our seats...

our seats at the concert were on the very top row were the spot lights were mounted. I was still able to get a few good pictures of Jason Aldean with my little kodak...

Cause You Had A Bad Day!

Ever have one of "those" days? You know the kind. The kind of day where you wake up and just know that no matter how hard you try, it is just not gonna be a good day.

My day was Wednesday.

6:30 am I did not sleep good Tuesday night, when I finally fell asleep, I overslept.
6:45 am I realized that I had forgotten to wash the clothes I wanted to wear.
7:21 am Tim said I never wash his clothes anymore.
Mary Margaret was stomping around all morning.
Taylor was moving three times slower than a snail all morning.
7:35 am Taylor tripped over Freckles on the sidewalk when we were leaving for school.
7:49 am Girls slam the van doors when they get out at school.
7:50 am I look down to find a quarter that I dropped and realize that...

I failed to finish painting my toes AND I was wearing open toed shoes AND we were gonna be busy at the funeral home.

I'm at work...
Tons of squabbles at work.
Tons of squabbles at work.
Tons of squabbles at work.
4:00 pm I leave work to take a kid piano.
4:05 pm I come back to work.
4:25 pm I leave work to take another kid to piano.
4:35 pm I come back to work.
5:00 pm I leave work to pick up last kid at piano. I will have to go back to work after dropping them off at church.
5:05 pm arrive at sonic
5:15 pm Car hop at sonic dumps a sprite in my lap.
5:30 pm arrive at work squishing sprite out of my shoes with my half painted toe nails.

5:50 pm I have finished with the family that was there for a visitation.
5:55 pm going over my bad day in my head. Reality Check.
I work at a Funeral Home.
The Funeral Home I work at has been extremely busy.
Someone is having a much worse day than me.
Time to stop complaining.

Jr. High Romance and More

Rewind to the week of September 14.

We were all happy for Mary Margaret. She finally has a boyfriend. I knew the grandparents, all was good. She was so excited, she tells everybody she sees.
(I'm going to speak MM's language now.)
He was like, okay, like, no really, he was like, um okay this is how it was, he was like, OMGosh I'm just gonna say it, like don't tell anyone we go out, like he might want to keep this private. Mary Margaret was like okay, here it goes, like I told him, um okay, like but I've already told a lot of people. He was like texting me saying like, well, he was cleaning his room and he was like how many people? MM was like about 20. He was like, great. So, the next day at school, he was like all sitting in his desk and well then maybe he walked down the hall and he was like, well I guess its okay to tell people.

Seriously, people, this is what I listen to. The stories go on forever. I feel very tired when its over.

They are all excited about going to the movies on Friday night. They text all weekend. Monday, September 21, Mary Margaret goes on an FBLA trip with the school. I ask for a text letting me know they made it safe, they were getting ready to leave, and one when they make it to Wynne. Taylor also went on this trip. Taylor texted me all day long. I texted Mary Margaret a couple of times and was answered "g2g" each time. I thought that it was odd that Taylor was texting but MM couldn't. Never got the texts that I asked for.

But the boyfriend did. He had stayed home. 200 incoming and outgoing text messages. She texted him and told him when they left Jonesboro and when they made it to Wynne. Those were MY texts.

This Friday was supposed to be the BIG date night. School lets out on Friday, he has missed school because he was sleepy, he sends her a text that says, "I can't do this anymore, I'm breaking up with you, we have nothing in common."

She was boyfriendless from 3:30 P. M. Friday to 7:30 P. M Friday. She found a new one that night. Whoop Whoop! He's a year older. She doesn't talk with all the 'likes', 'ums', and 'okays'. He stays on her to get her homework so they can talk, he reminds her to be good so she doesn't get her phone taken away. This is good.

More later...

The love story of Taylor and Brett...they still haven't kissed.

520 Things

This is my 520th post. How fun would it be to list 520 things about me that you may not already know? Y'all keep count now...

-I am a Christian
-Married to High School sweetheart
-Two girls, 13 and 14
-Two brothers, Andy and Scott
-One sister, Delani (25years younger than me)
-Brother #1 lives in Missouri
-Brother #2 lives in Alaska
-Sister lives in Lead Hill
-Middle name is Angelique
-My toes are sporting red polish
-Do not like to paint my finger nails
-I used to love Chinese food (until yesterday, explained at bottom of post)
-Love to take pictures
-I save change
-Bed must be made up before I can sleep in it
-LOVE LOVE LOVE clean sheet night
-Hate Salmon patties
-Like to clean
-Journey is my all time favorite group
-Never had braces
-Have 2 dogs and 1 cat
-Vacuum way too much
-If there is a Vacuum Anonymous, I should be in it
-Don't like to fold clothes
-Favorite color is navy
-I love the I love Lucy Show
-Biggest Looser and Greys Anatomy are my "shows" now
-Haven't had cable or satellite in 12 years
-Dream car is a Convertible Navy Blue Bug with White leather seats
-Talk on the phone too much
-Buy Christmas presents all year
-Procrastinate
-Lived in Wynne all my life
-I'm crazy
-Crazy things happen to me
-1992 Graduate of Wynne High School
-Went to college
-HATE green frogs
-HATE lady bugs and potato bugs
-I play the Piano
-Played the saxophone, tenor saxophone, baritone saxophone and french horn in the high school band
-took violin lessons in the 1st, 2nd and 3rd grade
-love to listen to old country (80's) music
-wish I knew how to play steel guitar
-currently work at a funeral home
-first REAL job was at the County Health Department, stuffing safe sex bags...condoms
-worked for the U. S. Army Corps of Engineers
-Worked for lawyers
-worked at the police department

Enough with that!
Wow, how do some people go on and on and on about themselves? It's taken me 20 minutes to think of this stuff and its really not that great. I don't know myself very well, I'm basically a stranger to me. I remember what I liked to do as a kid more than what I like to do as an adult. My adult life consists of kid chauffeuring, eating, cleaning, working, and very little sleep.

The dislike of Chinese food is explained here.

I loved Chinese food, sometimes had it three times a week. I wanted something quick yesterday at lunch. I decided to go to my favorite Chinese place, China Express. I like the lady that owns it, she always remembers to ask about the girls and Tim. It is buffet. I made my first plate, the bar was kind of empty, so I made a 2nd round. I got the pepper beef, teriyaki chicken, crab ragoons and chicken wings. I was eating fast, trying not to be late for work. The last thing on my plate was the chicken wings. I ate one and then picked up the last one. I took a bite, chewed, noticed it was more crunchy that the other, looked at what I was eating...and that's when I felt it in my mouth...

I could feel the wings on my tongue and its little legs scratching the roof of my mouth...

stupid me, I swallowed what I had chewed and spit out the remainder which was only half of the FLY. There were other flies fried to the chicken wing. These flies did not land after the chicken was put on the bar, they were COOKED with the chicken.

Now I have to go, my stomach is churning again...

Chinese food is ruined for me for a long, long time.

Tune in 2morrow for an exciting update of the Lives of the Teenage Love Affair, I promise its a good one.

P. S.
How freaky is this? Do you remember on all the post about the crazy times I have that I end it with,"Admit it, you all want to be me"? I always knew there would be one person who would try to be me. Dianna, my bestest friend for 14 years, "my person" (Greys Anatomy), tried to be me yesterday. She could have picked a better day to try to be me, I do have good days sometimes...

She was at home, innocently finishing dinner and sat her canned drink down for a minute. Shelby, her youngest, took a swig. Dianna hates it when folks drink her drink and backwash. She picked up her can and noticed it was almost empty, finished it off and there was a something, like a piece of meat, she said in her mouth. She thought that Shelby had backwashed and that it could be taco meat. She spit out A HUGE HAIRY FLY.

How freaky is that? Both of us, in the same day? AND she had just finished telling her family about my fly encounter.

Late last night, while waiting to pick up kids, we were texting each other, like at 11 pm. We placed blame for our days frustrations on the fact that we both ate flies. I thought about it for a minute and texted her this..."The flies were just innocent bystanders, they did not ask to be dinner". Don't you all think that we were wrong in blaming those poor innocent flies?

Do you all want to be me?

Farmville

For months I've heard, "I'm plowing!" or "I just harvested my eggplants" and "You've got to start farming and be my neighbor". One person even races to town early in the mornings to start plowing. I've heard its addictive. I decided to try it out this weekend.

Farmville on Facebook...

I checked out every one's farm. My friend Rachel, has animals line up by the dozens. Dianne is a serious farmer, her wireless Internet was down this week and I thought we would have to admit her into Farmer's Anonymous. All the farms are cute and so are the little farm people.

But...

It's too time consuming.
I joined up, asked some people to be my neighbor, plowed my land, and planted my seeds. Let the good times roll. I waited, and waited, and then break time was over. Signed in yesterday and everything I planted on Friday had died. My strawberries withered up and died before I could harvest them, so did my pumpkins. Now I have to remember to sign in and check on things, plus remember all me real life duties, laundry, dinner, dishes, groceries and junk. OMGosh, the pressure. How can I keep up with Farmville and Butlerville all at the same time?

I helped some of the neighbors out and cleaned up weeds and leaves. It takes forever to earn enough points to buy a house, barn, or really nice seeds to plant.

Random: Mary Margaret is sick and stayed home with me today instead of going to her grandparents...she is making me loose my train of thought.....

Anyhoo...

I probably will not be a farmer. All those ribbon posting and point posting annoys me on Facebook. I want to see what everyone has to say, not that they've won some points on Farmville, Yoville, Mafia Wars, Farmstown and all those other games.

I tried.

Thangs R Gettin Interesting Round Here

Thangs are heating up here in Butlerville.

I know, you are all shocked!

I now have TWO teenagers with BOYFRIENDS.

Mary Margaret finally found her one. He's not to happy about me going to the movies with them either.

AND I've seen a picture of him. He better be nice. He's a typical Mary Margaret pick.

Too bad so sad.

Boys, Work and Gnats

BOYS
I went on a date. A real date. You know, the kind of date where you are all nervous, you sweat, you check your breath to see if it stinks, that kind of date. I went Friday.

Not with Tim.

Put your eyebrows down, hang up the phones, and stop saying "Well, I knew...". I'm not cheating on my husband. I went on a date with Taylor and Brett. She brushed her teeth like 3 times, plus used mouth wash, and chewed gum all the way there. She tried on three or four different outfits and finally settled on a blue jean skirt (to the knee) and a polo shirt. She straightened her hair and put on MAKEUP AND she wore flats not FLIP FLOPS.

We dropped Mary Margaret off at the skating rink and we headed to pick up Brett. Taylor says we need to have a serious discussion. Okay. Should I kiss him? ....tires screeching... What? If he kisses me should I kiss him? If you want to. Okay, well you can't look.

Okie Dokie.

Do y'all remember the last movie I took them to? Sex in the opening scene? Wellllll they went their way, I sat one row behind them and "I'llbedagnabit" the opening scene was a naked rear end which led right to a sexy scene. "Time Travelers Wife" is good, but there is an abundance of naked bootay. The male bootay. Apparently the Time Traveler travels naked, he can't carry his clothes with him. Have you ever seen "Somewhere In Time" or "The Lake House" ? Same story line.

Anyhoo, back to the date. I saw them actually talk to each other in the movie this time. Taylor was still very stone like and again, this girl did not eat in front of Brett at the movies. We went to Sonic while we were waiting on MM to finish at the skating rink, they both ordered sweet tea AT THE SAME TIME. They looked at each other and smiled real big. Later, Taylor said, I knew he would like sweet tea, we are made for each other.

AWwwwwwww.

We've picked up Mary Margaret and it's time to take Brett home. They asked me to park at the end of his driveway, so they could walk up it and talk. It's a dark driveway. Mary Margaret was getting a little huffy, cause she just knew they would kiss.

Taylor gets back in the van. HUGE smile. I'm about to cry, cause I just know my baby got kissed.

Taylor: We discussed kissing and decided to just hug this time.

Mary Margaret and I both let our breath out. Whew. Still my baby.

Later we discussed this kissing thing while we were ALL piled up in my LITTLE bed. Tim was doing his little nervous laugh and rubbing his eyes thing when things get UNCOMFORTABLE. Mary Margaret stomped off cause she's tired of hearing about the DATE. Tim, wanting to get away from this subject, asks a total guy question...

Tim: Have you farted in front of Brett yet?
Taylor: (laughs until she cries) Nope, not yet, and I'm not going to.
Me:Ya know they are still at that point in their relationship where you hold in the gas until you get into a big crowd so you can pass it off on someone else.
I tell her about my dates with Tim. Tim never passed gas in front of me. NEVER. But the wires in that Toyota Landcruiser were ALWAYS burning or we were always getting CLOSE TO WEST MEMPHIS. Now, 18 years later, I get no warning and no excuses, and they smell worse. Gag you.

Moving right along...

WORK
At work, Bill G. has challenged Taylor and Mary Margaret. Taylor's challenge is to be the one to do the kissing and he'll give her $5. There has been much discussion about this. Taylor wants the $5, but doesn't want to be the one to do the kissing. She wants Brett to make the first move. So, she wants to trick Bill and tell him she did to get the money. Didn't work. He sneaked around and asked me if I saw them kiss and I said no, I don't think they kissed. I had no idea what was going on.

The next challenge I was present for...
Bill G. challenged Mary Margaret to not kiss a boy until she's 18 and he'll give her $500.
MM: For Real?
BG: Yup.
MM: Will it come out of your bank account?
BG: Why does that matter? You get $500 not matter where it comes from.
MM: OH, it matters. If you get it from the bank you might give me cash.
BG:Um, okay. Kaye, what do you feed this child?
ME: Oh, I bet this conversation is going to be great in about 10 seconds....
MM: Okay...here's the deal, I'll wait to kiss a guy until I'm 18 and instead of $500 you give me $10.00. Now that's a deal.
BG: (raises his eyebrows at me) I'll take it.

She still hasn't realized she just knocked herself out of $490, plus she has to wait until she's 18 to get TEN DOLLARS.

GNATS
We have gnats. I don't know why. Help!

Part II, Parent Visitation

Cinder-MaryMargaret and Cinder-Taylor (thanks Emma) were at home, sitting on pins and needles, calling me every five minutes just to check and see that I was still doing fine at Parent Visitation all night last night.

Cinder-MaryMargaret was one day away from earning her cell phone privileges back. She vacuumed, took care of the washer and dryer, feed all the animals, AND did all her homework, without me asking. She called me once from Taylor's phone just to tell me she loved me and hoped that I was doing ok at the Jr. High, cause she knows how stressful just being there can be.

STOP LAUGHING AND SNORTING. She was truly worried about me.

Be right back....


Okay, had to wipe my eyes I was laughing so hard.

Cinder-MaryMargaret's Parent Visitation outcome: NO DRAMA, she's a very good kid, works hard, sometimes doesn't turn in all her homework, quiet (apparently quiet only at school) but all in all good reports. Decent grades, two need to come up, and they will or I will own a Motorola Hint, iPod Nano, Digital TV, awesome jewelry, cool shoes, etc. and I will have a spotless house!

Cinder-Taylor called me and texted me every 5 minutes, just wondering if I had made it to her teachers yet. She changed the trash in ALL the rooms and did her homework and then of course, called her main squeeze, Brett. She was not nearly as sugar sweet as Cinder-Mary Margaret and she surely wasn't worried about me being stressed in the Jr. High.

Cinder-Taylor's Parent Visitation outcome: NO DRAMA, she's quiet, hard worker, always finishes her work, turns everything in on time, reminds the Science teacher that there was supposed to be a pop quiz and made whole class mad at her, asked the math teacher for more homework and finally in English she apparently will not shut up. Many of you know Taylor. She does not talk. I think maybe the teacher must be confused. She has one grade that needs to come up or she will be without a cell phone, iPod, TV, no more High School Musical or Hair Spray every night.

Believe it or not, there is such a thing as too much..."We're all in this to-ge-ther" or "I Love You Bal-ta-mor" (I know it's spelled wrong, spelling it like the girl sings it every night in Taylor's room and ear splitting volumes).

Sorry y'all, but it looks like Butler Diaries may be headed toward the other side of the mountain known as BORING.

Could it be true?

Insert Creepy Jaws Theme Song

Are you playing the theme song from "Jaws" over and over in your head?

If you are not, hurry up.

Okay...

I've been waiting...

quietly...

for a long time...

it's finally here...





4 1/2 WEEKS PARENT VISITATION!!!!

This is where we stand...
Mary Margaret is one day away from getting ungrounded from her phone. Could her phone privileges be on shaky ground?

Could her 5th Quarter Partying days be numbered?

Will I have a new iPod tonight?

Taylor is not grounded at this present time.
Could her nights of talking and texting Brett come to an end?

Will I have TWO new iPods tonight?

Will they both be scrubbing floors, washing clothes, dusting ceiling fans, scrubbing toilets, cooking dinner all while reciting Arkansas History, Math, Greek Mythology and other junk?

Yeah, I was dreaming. They probably will not cook dinner. HA!

OR will it be like last year when I found out...
about
Lies, Forgery, and Confessions

In ancient Greece times I would be the 2nd Government in command...the TYRANT!

I learned that this week!

To Be Continued...

Back at the Track

We made it back to the track and I'm still ALIVE!

Barely.

Mary Margaret, who has been shooting her mouth off about how she's gonna run, get in shape for Track Season, was a big BABY! We walked around the track once. She was fine. The second trip around the track we jogged the straight and walked the curve. I take that back. I jogged the straight and walked the curve and Mary Margaret jogged/walked bent over saying she thought she was having spasms everywhere. She had to stop and take a break, then wanted to know if we had water in the van, then wanted to just sit in the van and wait for us to finish.

I made her finish and she is still breathing.

Taylor invited Brett and they walked together. Poor Taylor. It was humid outside and her iPod would not work. The humidity makes her hair go wild. Hair was going everywhere, it scared me.

Now, I'm going to sign off and go kick some teenage boo-tay in Wii Tennis and maybe a little boxing too.

I'm still not brave enough to tackle the yoga.

Can I Slow Down Yet?

The last two weeks have just been like I've took the plunge down a waterfall that never stops.

I did not have to work this weekend. Whoop Whoop.

What did I do with all this free time? Our church sponsors a little thing called 5th Quarter, which I signed up to work and I signed up my sisterinlaw Dianne, cause I'm just nice that way. Anywhoo, after the home football games, we open up the youth room and serve drinks, snacks and play loud music for the teens to come enjoy and have a safe place to gather after the game.
Taylor invited her boyfriend Brett. Aren't they cute?

Let's talk about Taylor. She has blossomed overnight. She takes more time with her hair, makeup and clothes. She has several friends and Brett calling her now. She has become a little social bug.

She has become a history buff this year.
Taylor: A fireman came to visit our school.
Me: What did he talk about
Taylor: He was in the Civil War.
Me: What? No he wasn't.
Taylor: Oh, yes he was. He fought in the civil war.
Mary Margaret: That was the war that was fought because of the north did not like the south having slaves. (I had to shake my head and turn around to see if I have picked up the wrong child from piano lessons.)
Me: Wow, Mary Margaret, that's great that you remember that.
MaryMargaret: Yeah, I'm getting smart. I remember the civil war because Memaw and Pepaw lived through that and the Great Depression.
ME to MYSELF: Yep, I picked up the right child.

Mary Margaret's social life seems to have come to a stand still. She still does not have a boyfriend and seems to be having a hard time fitting in with the girls at school this year too. She doesn't have classes with very many girls that she knows. I'm sure things will even out eventually. Aren't Jr. High girls strange anyway? Who knows what they'll do next, right? I have an example!!!

Yes, really I do, surprising I know.

The girls and I went to Jonesboro, Saturday, to pick up a few school clothes and just get away. The girls have saved a little money and it was burning a hole in their purses, I mean those purses were SMOKING. Mary Margaret buys socks in Rue 21. I didn't pay attention to them at all. She leaves the store, runs out to the "old man" couch and puts them on. Still, I didn't look at them. We get to the restaurant to eat and she goes to the bathroom. It took her FOREVER to come back to the table. When she comes back, hips swinging, flipping her hair back and forth, really struttin her stuff, I SEE THE SOCKS. She has been to the bathroom, rolled up her pants to her knees, and put on one of each sock. They are knee socks and they ROCK! (her words not mine). Words can not describe what she looked like.

I have noticed that a lot of my friends who around my age like to eat sushi. I personally do not like it. When we were in Little Rock last weekend, I saw sushi in the oddest place...
Wal-Mart

Since we are not that sophisticated and sushi is not for us, we dine redneck style...Ron's Catfish Buffet, voted best crawfish for 5 years straight! It would be my favorite place to eat shrimp, fish and CRAWFISH.
Mary Margaret diggin' in!

Stay tuned for more from Butler Diaries as we hit the track tomorrow! Getting our fitness on!

Schools and Boys

SHOUT OUT! I have a new reader. She stopped by own her own. Didn't twist her arm or anything. (I would have said "nothing" but, I had a gramar lesson this afternoon from an 8th grader who believes the only punctuation one should use is an exclamation point.) My SHOUT OUT is for Anna K. over at Everyday Occasions stop by and check her out. Y'all be nice and don't scare her away, yet.

Don't ya just love school? Let's narrow that down a little. Don't ya just love Jr. High? Just last week we were on the verge of moving to Siberia because we were...

(Insert creepy Twilight Zone music)

MAKING MARY MARGARET WEAR...

SHIRTS WITH A COLLAR.

We survived by putting all the shirts with collars out of sight, out of mind. (She will wear them on the weekends, no one expects you to be cool then, half of the kids wear the pj's to town anyway, at least she'll be dressed!)

The homework has not been too bad, yet. Taylor made her first F on a test since the 1st grade. She spent Monday night talking to Brett her boyfriend when she should have been finishing her study guide and studying.

Just last week both girls were living the single life and now, Taylor has a steady boyfriend, her real first boyfriend too. They are in love. He is going to Destin, Florida this weekend. I overheard them discussing tee shirts that he wants to buy them while he's there. They can't decide to get shirts that say Brett & Taylor or Taylor & Brett...it's a big serious decision.

Mary Margaret is single and just found out that she missed out on a cute guy. She has texted him for a week and a half and just found out today that he is now taken. He said...he wasn't sure if MM liked him or not. Now she is pouting and extremely jealous of Taylor's love life. She is scared to death that Taylor is going to get her first kiss before her. Got news for her...Taylor wouldn't even look at Brett during their ONE date, I don't think theres any chance of lip locking going on with those two, especially since I'm sitting a row behind them at ALL MOVIES. Some readers might accuse me of being, what was it...a fascist cause I go to the movies to control things.

We are headed to Hot Springs to Magic Springs this weekend with sisterinlaw Nicole for one last girls weekend for the summer. If I decide to stop being lazy, I'll be closing up the pool this coming week, hopefully.

And coming soon...
We're getting back on track with the exercise, dieting and Wii. I have to get batteries for the Wii Fit. I've used it so much I ran down the batteries. Stop laughing.

Okay

Truth is, I've neglected it ALL summer and the batteries ran down. I had a good excuse, I couldn't get it to work with the cock-a-mamie digital convertor box, course we all know now that all I needed to do was just turn off the convertor box. Anywhooo...The Wii knows I love it, sometimes we all grow apart, but I'm warming up to it again.

Bikini time next summer.

STOP LAUGHING.
Joanna...stop snorting, seriously. I'll have Tim in a bikini by next summer! Oh, Y'all thought I was gonna wear the bikini. Ha ha ha now that is funny.

I think Tim will look great in speedos.

Maybe we could get matching swimwear.

That's how we roll.

Surpise Dianna

A few pictures from Dianna's surprise birthday party...
Dianna and Paul

Taylor, Dianna, and Shelby

Dianna and Me

Happy 40th Birthday to...

Happy 40th Birthday to my friend Dianna.

There would have been pictures of our lunch together, but she ditched Dianne and I for her work buddies, just cause they COOKED for her. Whatever.

I'm sorry to disappoint those of you who thought it was MY 40TH birthday, that won't happen for me for another five 20 years.

Blogging has been slow for me cause we have been busy at the funeral home and I have been coming home and literally sitting in my chair staring at the boob tube, while I go back to Jr. High and complete the 7th and 8th grade help with homework, I just realized, that with two kids, its like going to school THREE TIMES. Yes, I was yelling that ON top of my lungs.

I have a lot to blog about, its all coming soon. I'm making a mental note. WHAT was that Joanna? You think my mental notes need a secretary? You are right, want the job?

Shout out to Clay and Wattles...I have a post involving her later this week.

Beth, hon, the Feature Blog, I hate to say, has been up for a while, like since you posted that funny do-dah about your husband. HaHa...I almost typed "our" husband instead of "your" husband. Wouldn't that be fun explaining?

More to come...

Quickie...
Mary Margaret: What are you always boiling chicken eggs?
ME: (looking at the CHICKEN eggs in my hands) Um, what other eggs can I boil besides chicken eggs?
MM: You are boiling the chicken eggs straight from Clayton's chickens bottom, why don't you use those from the store?
ME: Um, those are chicken eggs too.
MM: No, they come from the STORE.
ME: THEY HAVE TO COME FROM THE CHICKEN FIRST!!!!!
MM: Never mind.

Keep in mind that my van clock is only a few minutes slow, so it should be close to 7:45 AM...

ME: Girls what time do your phones have so I can set the van clock?
MM: Mine's off
Taylor: 8:49
ME: What??
Taylor: 8:49
Me: did you get that off your phone?
Taylor: No, off the Wynne Jr. High School Sign
ME: they have a clock on their sign? since when? (I look around)
Taylor (pointing to the brick wall that says....
wynne jr. high
849
Eldridge
Look its right there on that wall.
ME: That's their address
Taylor: looked like a clock to me.

That's how we roll. Confusion is our queen.

Who Could It Be?

Someone has a Birthday Tuesday...

Who Could it be?

Ignorant People and 1st dates

I enjoy my job. Most people can not say that, but I can. I love the people I work with and I love my job. We all get on each other's nerves, especially if we've worked 14 or more days straight, but that's normal, right? Yesterday had to be the worst day so far in the last 7 years at the funeral home. I can't tell all the details, keep that in mind.

I got a phone call from someone wanting to come and discuss a form he/she was filling out. I said that's fine. While waiting for the person I asked my boss how he normally fills this form out and what attachments went with it, because I'VE NEVER DONE ONE. It's not my department, boss #1 always handles this.

Person comes in the funeral home with a chip on his should and starts the conversation off like this..."we are going to get this finished TODAY and you are not going to blow me off" He spoke to me like I was the most unintelligent person he had ever met, then he used our phone to call an insurance company and spoke to that woman like a dog, he was hollering. THEN he took me into one of our visitation rooms, cleared the table with his arm, threw down his stuff and proceeded to holler at me. This went on for quite awhile. I couldn't answer him back he wouldn't let me talk and he would try to talk over me. I had my fill when he said "your mother should be ashamed for bringing such an incompetent person into this world"

insert Long Ranger music

She didn't have a mask, but she did have a pen in her hand and she knew how to point it!!! Sandy came to my rescue. She started telling him the "what for" and as I was leaving the room (I had already told him to get out of the funeral home he obviously didn't listen) he says to Sandy, "I don't care what you say, you are bias, and I don't even know your name..." then some more stuff was said and Sandy had my back!

This jerk was at the funeral home raising cane for about an hour and 30 minutes or so. I bet my blood pressure was stroke level.

Now to first dates...
Taylor had her first date last night. Since you are not allowed to bring a camera in the movies, I had to take their picture with Tbugs phone. Aren't they cute?

Taylor was so nervous. She's not as worldly as Mary Margaret ya know since MM's been on that illegal date and all. She looked straight ahead the whole movie. YES, I stayed and sat two rows behind them. Her boyfriend, Brett, looked at her several times during the movie, bought them popcorn and Taylor didn't blink an eye, didn't move once, didn't laugh, NOTHING. It was so sweet!!!! We carried him home, it was silly to have his parents get out when I was going right by the house on my way home.

drum roll.......

They held hands half way home and she walked him to the door and they kindof sortof hugged.

all together now...

awwwwwwwwww

We saw PerfectGetaway... pretty good suspense movie

What Could Have Been...

This post could have been and would have been all about the drama surrounding a shirt with a collar worn by one very mad 14 year old. Who knew a shirt with a collar could be so dramatic. A collared shirt caused a melt down, a melt down that I was hoping was a thing of the past. But it's not.

This post could have been and would have been all about Taylor's boyfriend, Brett. How he called her up and told he was walking to work on his fitness which caused her to jump on the treadmill and walk, or maybe about the time he called her and said, "I'm going to join the Bible Club at school and so are you!" But its not.

This post is all about one crazy funeral home secretary who was turned loose with the Quill Supply Catalog. Someone should have been watching her. She spent tons of money. She bought, cd labels, printer ink, correction tape, and...

5,000 paper clips and one bottle of white out. Don't need much whiteout cause the crazy funeral home secretary never makes mistakes.

You might be wondering what one does with so many paper clips and why did one order so many paper clips. I could say that I was tired of hunting down paper clips, maybe Jere needed a paper clip to hold back all that hair on top of his head, or maybe Sandy needed a new necklace. But I wouldn't say that.

Catalogue said 100 paper clips per box. I ordered 5 packs. Which is now obvious to me that 5 packs has 10 boxes, which I didn't notice when I ordered them.

Need a paper clip anyone? I might have an extra.

I Survived a Jr. High Swim Party

Hello readers! I survived a Jr. High Swim Party. This was the 2nd Back to School Swim Party here at the Butler house. I think there were about 30 kids here last night.

*I took tons of pictures
*hollered at them twice during the scary movie
*THERE WAS NO DRAMA (imagine that)
*they went through tons of chips and drinks like a tornado
*10 PM I began to worry that some parents might come back for their kids
*pooped by the time everything was cleaned up last night
*group pictures I took did not turn out
*cleaned up spilled drinks only once
*looked out the kitchen window and saw crazy looking line dancing

There were
*two party crashers
*guys
*gals
*best friends
*twins
*volleyball players
*dunking
*nerf water gun fights
*noodle fights
*chicken fights
*the fight of kids against mosquitoes
*girls showing off their flipping skills
*laughing
*screaming
*plots of revenge
*one lost pair of flip flops
*one lost cell phone
*lots items left behind

Not one child was hurt, no one got mad (except me when I had to holler twice), no one left here without saying thank you and saying they had fun, everyone left tired.

I sent them all home with a nice party favor...

this party favor did not cost me a dime...

plenty of mosquito bites!

Did not find the flip flops
Tim found the cell phone, yay TIM!!!!!


P.S. Did you all notice that the drug Dr. Pepper was within my reach? I WAS STRONG. VERY STRONG.