Happy New Year!

I will be up at 12, driving to town to pick up the girls at their first ever New Years Eve Party which means this: The Girls will have attended One New Years Eve party more than I.

When Tim and I started dating we spent almost every New Years Eve at his parents house, playing monopoly and snacking on cheese dip and usually hot dogs or hamburgers. I don't remember ever going to a party. Tim might correct me later.

So this year Tim and I will party by ourselves at home with the movie Surfer Dude (which might be a mistake but its all that was left at RedBox). I am cooking stakes, onions, mushrooms and steak fries...I'm hungry.

Tomorrow? Maybe my mother-in-law will have a pot of black eyed peas and of course her old stand by sauerkraut and weenies. Where will I be AT WORK. You heard me. Life keeps going.

For those of you on the edge of your seats wondering how the tennis match on the Wii turned out...I was defeated and my Mii walked off the court dragging her racket in shame while Hroshi danced with confetti. I think he cheated.

Wii Day No. 2

I am now trapped in the body of 58 year old person. Yay me!
Mary Margaret, yesterday 60, today 81, not good.
Taylor, yesterday 80, today 50, better.

Wii Tennis:
The replay is too cool. Mary Margaret is so wild with the swing that she has injured a few Wii Mii's in the stands. In the replay it shows the ball striking the Wii Mii in the forehead. It shows how high your Mii jumps to hit the ball, how hard it has to dig to get the ball and of course how you trip over yourself when you miss. I decided that my training/weight loss method would be bowling and tennis. Playing against the computer has made me realize that the re-play in tennis is now ANNOYING ME so I skip it. I always get put up against two guys. Seriously, can I play against girls? Hroshi...name of one the Mii's kicked my butt this morning and he laughed at me. Message to Hroshi from Kaye Kaye...what comes around goes around. You, me, at Butler Dairy's Living Room...its on buddy. Hroshi Slammed me this morning and LAUGHED ABOUT IT.

Back to the real world.

This jerk insurance person came into the funeral home this morning. He says, I got your bosses message and just wanted you to know that I sent out the insurance packets. I want to know if you've gotten in the Proof of insurance cards for the vehicles in the mail yet. I said I'm not sure, lets look...he found them... he said..
Person: "Thought process...let's try this thought process, the..cards..go..in..the..automobile. Do you understand this thought process?"
Me: NOPE. I have people that handle that for me.

Oh...look at my counter...10,000 visitors...
Okay, my 10,000 visitor post
10,000 things about me
1.

Just kidding...I don't know 10,000 things about me...

Wii Played

Wii played and I'm a pooped 35 year old trapped in a 71 year old body. How funny is that? Every time I look in the mirror I see a gorgeous 115 pound 21 year old! What? I could be 21 as a matter of fact, I have been 21. What do you mean you were laughing about the 115 pounds...okay, maybe 114 is more like it.
Whatever.
Stop laughing.
Okay, I'm trapped in the fat body, struggling to get out and I KNOW the Wii is going to help me escape or at least it will help me make my life long dream come true and I will finally be the professional bowler I have always wanted to be. Think about it, hushed crowd, hanging on your every move, awesome wardrobe, coolest of cool shoes...that could be me.

I took the girls to the Wolfchase Mall in Memphis yesterday after church.
Taylor to Sales Clerk: I need some party clothes.
Sales Clerk to Taylor: Do you have a style?
Taylor to Sales Clerk: NO, where do you buy that at?
Sales Clerk: Um, well, I mean what do you like to wear?
Taylor: Clothes.

Oh, to be 12.

Taylor, Me, and Mary Margaret at TGI Friday's in Memphis, yesterday.


Coming next...

New Year Promises and Challenges and a little church talk.

(maybe listing what's coming next will help me remember the post I have in mind.)

A Butler Diary Christmas

Christmas morning at the Butler Diaries brought, lights twinkling on the tree, Christmas carols playing softly in the background, the pitter patter of little (size 11 and size 8/5) feet down the hall and the whispers of excited little girls in our ears, wondering what might be in all those brightly wrapped presents.....errrrkkk...(imagine the sound of screeching tires...)

4:30 AM two big teenage girls jump on our bed. Get up they wanted. Let's open gifts now. Tim says no. Let's sleep a little. Ya'll are big girls now... NO THEY ARE NOT BIG GIRLS, do not take that little bit of innocence away. The excitement in their eyes... We did manage to make one of them lay down on the foot of our bed and the other on the edge of the bed and they watched MOVIES in our room until 7:30, they could wait no longer.

I tortured them by taking a few pictures of the tree, etc before it got all messed up and then turned them loose.


Harry Potter and TWILIGHT!!!!!! I think the books went over better than the Wii!

Before the Butler's could head over to the Butler In Law's, the girls and I had to make 145 Lemon Cookies (for the recipe check the Family recipe's blog). While making the cookies, I was a multitasker, cut my finger, called my brother, called my dad, called my other brother in Alaska, called my friend Dianna, texted a whole bunch of people and DID NOT BURN ONE COOKIE! That's how I roll. Somewhere in the mix I got a shower.

Garrie, Angela's husband wants to make it big in the modeling profession. Mary Margaret tried to give him some pointers. Christmas at the Butler Diaries In Laws went well until someone RUINED someone's Christmas. Gas was passed. True Redneck style. One nephew is quite comical and kept us all laughing over the ruined Christmas. It really only ruined Christmas for one person...who by the way can dish it but can't take it. We had a great time, great food, and great company.

John made it home from Iraq and is home for good, we hope. I'm sure the best present anyone could have hoped for.

I learned on Friday, that I am among the technology challenged. I'll save it for another post. Sandy knows what I'm talking about.

Finished...whew...

Old donkey, New donkey finished last night at 1:05AM!!!!!! Thats how I roll, stress to the end baby!

One very happy little 5 year old, Alyssa and her donkey just like Aunt Kaye Kaye's.

More later.

Borrowed

I borrowed this from Joanna over at Bugs In My Teeth...she has a whole lot of funnies... this caught my attention.

Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

Makes perfect sense?

Hello! What A Wonderful Day!!!!

Hello! A few pictures from the weekend. It was a busy one.
New Hair Do...notice, no gray. Lovely. It is a beautiful day. We ran out of propane this morning at 1 AM. Let me point out that the temp outside is 15 degrees. Inside the house it was 45 degrees. I washed my van last night, stupid. My doors froze. Fun times. *Added Later - No, I did not forget to pay the gas bill, we just didn't take time to LOOK at the percent gage. Tim said that the gas has already been delivered. Crisis Over.* Propane is $1.94 per gallon.

Our pitiful tree before the pop corn strings. I can't find my star. Also, WE have lost Taylor's Stocking.

Taylor sings in the children's chior..Squared. Squared joined up with Celebration Chior for the Christmas Program this year. It was Fantastic.

Taylor is 3rd from the left in the second row from top. Singing mouth wide open! They did a great job!

The lady in the middle, Karin Weaver is the girls piano teacher, she is so sweet.

This is for my friend Dianna....This mess will become...

an exact copy of this Holly Hobie Donkey. My niece Alyssa want's to play with this one all the time. I will not let her because, its 34 years old. So I promised to make her one for Christmas. Someone took my sewing scissors, the ones I'm using are DULL and will not cut the towel material very well...I will have it done before she is finished with her "dacation".

Send Me Your Kids...JUST KIDDING

This is what happens when you send your kids to my house...we really don't even know how long Alyssa was asleep. We do know that she was awake during "Horton Hears A Who". Alyssa pointed out that "Clarice" was not sleeping. True.

Alyssa is here on her Dacation for Christmas. She's really enjoying her dacation. She slept half the night with Taylor and the other half with Tim and I. During our half of the night, we got little sleep because Tim was squishing us, so much, that Alyssa had to "tuck" in her belly to have room, she told me. So, I tell her, don't worry, Uncle Tim will be getting up soon to duck hunt. She says bluntly, it won't matter if he leaves because you snore. Aren't children just wonderful little things? 5:45 am rolls around and tell Tim, time to hunt. 6:15 Alyssa tells me, wow, he minds you just like my sisters mind you. (He had not moved from the spot he was in at 5:45).

Its Gonna Be a Bad Day

I woke up this morning and had that bad day feeling in my bones. The weather is messy, and my house is messy, well, the kitchen is clean since I went on strike last night and refused to cook. Tim would say the house is not messy, but I do.
For instance, last night he called before heading home (somewhere after 10pm) and asked if I wanted a burger from McDonald's, you know with the strike going on at Butler manor, he figured he would be hungry and so would I. I'm getting to my point. I said bring me a burger. Long story short...I tossed the McD's sack at the trash and missed. I said forget it, leave it. Tim said...OOOOkkkkaaayyy... it will be okay for like 10 seconds and you'll have to get up and get it. It will bother you until you do. I stood strong and left it. It bothered me all night long, but I left it. yeahhhhh!!!

Okay, back to the bad day.
Couldn't get Taylor up, so MM had to go first in shower. She's 13 and I still have to stand over her and Taylor. Otherwise the odor would be deadly this afternoon and why should I have to go through all that torture? Cause, Good Golly, Sunday, MM forgot her deodorant and I forced her to keep her arms at her sides at all times. The onions growing under those arms were stout!

Okay, that was a delay. The bad day started...

Picked up my toothbrush, turned on the water, looked at my hair and thought I need a little more hairspray, sprayed the toothbrush with the hairspray and brushed my teeth. I wonder what tasted worse, Sandy's moisturizer(remember she brushed her teeth with moisturizer the other day) or my hair spray. Sandy has age defying soft teeth, I have teeth that won't move when the wind blows. We are a pair.

I'm at work. I have to say that I do not care for the Insurance Salesman that is camping out at the funeral home badgering sweet old people to increase their insurance. He is not a funeral home employee, he works for a company we write for and he just RUBS me wrong. He pulls up at 8:05, seriously, can I get a break? Yesterday I really had had enough of him. I thought he was gone for a while. Nope. Today, he's in the other room and calls out "I'm reading your October Wynne Progress. It may be old news but it new news to me." I think, strange, I threw away all the October and September papers the other day and only saved one, which has the girls in it, and I put that paper with my PERSONAL stuff.
OH NO HE DIDN'T
I walked into the other room
OH YES HE DID.
FOR.THE.LOVE.OF.PEANUTBUTTER.JELLY.ANDJAM.
He had to move several personal items to get to this newspaper. Its the only October one I saved. He had to move several folders and a book to find this newspaper.
I said, "Where did you get that?" he pointed WITH HIS EYEBROWS, to my desk. I said "I am saving that and you got that from my personal stuff, put it back."

Just at that time the phone rings, it's my boss,
Boss:have you seen the salesman?
ME:Yep, looking at him.
Boss:Write him his check and send him home until after the new year.
Me:With pleasure.

Wrote check. Handed it to him and said have a safe trip home.

Good riddance.

Say What? Part 3

I know you all love my "Say What?" post. One would think that after all these years, I would not be astonished by the things the girls say. This morning was quite funny, funny enough to get a chuckle out of the sleeping TIM.

Running at top speed down our very short hall, Mary Margaret screams: "Oh My gosh!"
ME: What? Are you hurt?
MM: Duh, no. This woman on NBC had quantuplets, which is very, very rare.
ME: It's not quantuplets, it is quintuplets.
MM: Okay, whatever, its rare, five babies at one time. I SAID RARE!
(Taylor is sitting on my bed whispering something to a sleeping Tim)
TAYLOR: Oh my gosh, that's what Meemaw did!
we thought Tim was asleep
TIM:Ha, ha ha ha ha, no she didn't
TAYLOR: Yes, she had Clayton, John, Angela, Tim which is you, and Jason our dad. That's five.

*Made perfect sense to her*

YARM13YOL - for those of you who might not remember, this is a nick name for Mary Margaret.

YARM13YOL got her results of her English Semester test. It was not good. As we were discussing it LOUDLY, YARM13YOL says...."Well, she told us we had to only know half of the study guide, apparently I studied the wrong half."

Alright, settle down now, no pushing or shoving, I will let you all have your turn to be me.

Drama, Drama, Drama

Drama: Tree up, looks VERY sad. The top lights worked, the bottom lights worked, but not the middle. I CAN NOT GET INTO THE CHRISTMAS MOOD. So I left it. Super Sister-In-Law swoops in this weekend for a visit and has my tree looking all fabulous with working lights. She sat in my floor on Sunday afternoon and went through each light and replaced the non working ones. AND because I had to work a visitation Sunday afternoon, I wasn't even there when she left. I had to call her to tell her thank you. I feel like a bum, every time she comes to visit, she either, keeps my kids for me to work, washes dishes because I haven't had time, or now fixes my pitiful little tree. Now I have to get up off my lazy behind and get the decorations down and on the tree. I broke tradition this year for the first time in 35 years, the tree did not go up on my birthday...

Drama: Work. Work is always dramatic. Just putting a scratch pad down in the wrong place requires an investigation and 500 word report. Drama.

Drama: 7th grade basketball causes all kinds of drama around here. Will the game be canceled? How do we get from basketball practice to piano lessons without being late? Will she get her size 11 basketball shoes in before BASKETBALL IS OVER?

Drama: SEMESTER TEST RIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS BREAK. That is enough drama to put me in the mental institution alone. Seriously, we make sharpening a pencil and looking for paper more dramatic than the actual studying.

Drama: AMAZON LOST MY ORDER. MY MAJOR CHRISTMAS GIFT ORDER. FOR.THE.LOVE.OF.PEANUTBUTTER.AND.JELLY. It left Memphis on December 4, 2008. I LIVE 45 MINUTES FROM MEMPHIS. Seriously.

Drama: Someone was late this month. SO MUCH drama.

Who has Time?

First things first...
Think about this...
Winter storms are coming, and the race is on to see how much bread and milk we can buy. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH ALL THE MILK AND BREAD? I seriously want to know. I'm thinking that you need more that bread and milk. Also, today is Tuesday, by Thursday its going to be 60 degrees...

Second, Wynne Public Schools...did not get out for ice. Ha! Ha! Ha!

Third...

Walking through the grocery store, with YARM13YOL and Taylor, LOVING the fact that YARM13YOL basketball game was canceled due to ice in the town we were headed, fighting all the bread and milk buyers, YARM13YOL decided to walk in front of the basket instead of beside talking my ear off. As she steps in front, I noticed Mayor Nichols walking toward us, he waves, and YARM13YOL decides giant steps weren't bothering me and starts taking 2inch steps. Of course that causes me to ram her with the basket. DRAMA.

The Mayor and I talk. He walks off. I have to hear from YARM13YOL that now both her feet are probably broke and that I don't care. From Taylor...utter astonishment that I know someone as popular as the Mayor of the City of Wynne. Both of these discussions lasted the rest of the shopping trip. I thought kids came with remote controls. I got cheated.

You will be glad to know that YARM13YOL got up this morning and walked on those two broken feet. 'Its a miracle.

To Joanna...I thank you so much for the award and I am working on who to send it to...I haven't forgotten.

Detention

Mary Margaret had her FIRST EVER detention in Jr. High, which meant that we had to be in town this morning by 7 am.

For what?

Quote from the detention slip...

"Please help us correct this behavior...left back pack in gym for lunch."


Seriously.

Happy 38th Birthday TIM

Happy 38th Birthday to my husband...Tim...yesterday.

He knows how busy I am a the funeral home and I'm sure he understands why this is a day late.

Taylor was greatly disappointed that I was not as romantic as Tim is. She wanted me to buy him roses and hide them from him. I told her that it was WAY more romantic for me to buy him his favorite candy and put them in PLAIN view on the bed. Who wants to hunt for their gifts? Not me.

Tim..I love you.

Good Bench Warmer

Mary Margaret did soooo goooood last night. She and half the team were in charge of holding the bench in place and keeping it warm for the others. Bless her little hard, she did good.

Say What? Part 2

Science Homework 7th grade

Question: Where does fertilization take place in the mother?
Answer: Fertilization takes place in the mother.

FOR REAL?
Question: How are identical twins formed and how are fraternal twins formed?
answer: with sperm and eggs

FORTHELOVEOFPEANUTBUTTER I did not know that.

MM: "I can't find this in the Science book or in my notes."
ME: "I assure you that the teacher did not ask you a question on a study guide that is not in the book or notes. When the teachers writes the questions, its not over new material that you've never had!"
MM: "I didn't know the teacher writes these questions."

You are kidding, right?

Social Studies Homework 7th grade
Question: During the war between the Spartans and Athens, __________ had the advantage.

MM: "Kaye Kaye, come here, I can't figure out who fought the war between the Spartans and the Athens."

No comment.

Sunday, dinner at parent's-in-law's house....

MM: "OMGosh, my fish died!" (The parent's in laws have a fish tank)
Sister-in-law: "Maybe its an OMEN"
MM: "No it was a young one, I'm sure."

Again, no comment.


Y'all, stop being jealous of me. You can't be me, it just wouldn't work.

Tree Stalker

I am a Tree Stalker.

I reallllllly like the Cherry Fest Sponsored Tree.

Who Is 35?

I am.

Dianne was the first to wish me Happy Birthday, sadly the only prize she get's is me for a sister-in-law.

There are pictures...
1974 - Dad, really, what was the hair all about?

1975

1975 - Did you say that HE is cute? I'm the cute one!

1979 - Hot Springs


1981 - Jonesboro

1982 Argo Drug Store

6th grade

10th Grade

Senior 1992


Was there breakfast in bed like the girls promised? No. I probably should have bought groceries and then maybe they would have gotten up before 9AM. I got up with the duck hunter and stayed up, watched the movie Atonement all by myself in my bed, and now I'm watching Chronicals of Narnia, Prince Caspian and I'm not alone.

* * * * * * * * * * * *
7:23am
Text Message from Tim
T: U up
ME: Yep
T: No ducks
Me:Sorry
T:Way it goes
Me:Maybe Sunday
T:Yep
Me:Ya'll finished?
T: Nope
T: U still in bed?
ME: watching movie
T:K

Phone call 9am

T: what are you doing?
Me:watching movies
T: alone?
ME: no, Taylor is right here
T: give her the phone
Taylor: I'll be right back
she hangs up.
Brings me roses and a card.
I call Tim back.
ME: Thank you for the flowers and card
T: I can't believe you didn't find themm yet.
ME: Um, well, I haven't left our room yet.
T: I put them in your chair because you usually stay up and get in your chair..
Me: Awww, thank you
T: Happy birthday
TAYLOR: OMG, Tim is so romantic...isn't he, that was romance.

We ate lunch with Dianna and her girls. I did some Christmas shopping, then we ate dinner at Mikes. Now, the girls and I are snuggled up, watching another movie, waiting on Tim to get home. I can't make the heater come on, we are cold.
Everyone have a great day!

"Take It To the Mattresses"

"Take it to the mattresses" - God Father

I have taken it to the mattresses....new mattresses. "The man" did go get the mattresses for me. I brought them home and got them in the house, he went to get his gun that is being repaired. I did not have to fight him over CLEAN SHEET NIGHT. I also did not buy new sheets. Have you seen the prices of sheets? FORTHELOVEOFPEANUTBUTTERPEOPLE, are they making these things out of spun gold? Did Hannah Montana spin the cotton herself? I know, the cast of High School Musical sewed them up. $36 for a CHEAP, let me say it again CHEAP set of queen sheets, I'm talking Wal-Mart brand cheap. I did however buy 2 new pillows and a new mattress cover. I settled for my old comfortable CLEAN flannel sheets, which I love.

Now, I sit here, on TOP OF THE WORLD (these suckers are tall) listening to the settling of the house for the night and I know that all is right with my little world. Taylor is laying here with me, watching "Don't Forget the Lyrics", YARM13YOL is in the living room watching the same program (she gets to hog the remote by staying in the living room), yelling at us, "I love this song", "I know all the words", then...suddenly she's changed channels,
YARM13YOL shouts:"Kaye Kaye, hurry turn it to #10"
ME shouting: WHAT?
YARM13YOLDshouting: CHANNEL 10
ME shouting: WHY? (turning the channels)
YARM13YOL: I think its Natalie Grant on PBS
ME shouting: WHAT?
YARM13YOL shouting: I said I think its Natalie Grant on TV singing
(this would be her new favorite singer, she loves "I Will Not Be Moved"
ME shouting: Oh, OK, I think you are right.
YARM13YOL: Dang, we missed it.

Why? Cause we were shouting from one end of the house to the other. Bright aren't we?

Junior High Basketball

The Lady Jackets, 7th Grade Team, played their 2nd game (because the 2nd and 3rd were canceled) against Searcy. This team is the team they played their 1st game against. I'll have to say not fair. The Searcy team is pretty good FANTASTIC. #41 on the Searcy team is a basket making super freak. I suggested a "fix" for this problem, some people told me my "fix" may be illegal and cause Amber Alerts and all that so that idea was chunked. I think the pictures tell the rest of last nights story.





Unrelated news...
I bought myself a 1 day early birthday present...NEW MATTRESSES.

Do a little dance, make a little romance, get down tonight.

New mattresses means, new pillows, new sheets. New sheets means CLEAN SHEET NIGHT, which I love. Ladies, you all know that you love CLEAN SHEET NIGHT. I try to be the first one in the bed on that night, but sometimes I fail and THE MAN, Tim, beats me there. The girls think he's funny, but not me. He messes all the covers and sheets up real quick and then I have to remake the bed and it's just lost all its thrill of CLEAN SHEET NIGHT. My other "thing" that bothers Tim and the girls is that I can not get into a bed that is unmade. If Tim has been out late on wrecker calls and I leave him in the bed, do you think he makes it? NOOOOOO...so when I get home for work, no matter how early or how late I MAKE THE BED, it sleeps better that way.

Call me crazy.

Glorious Gift of Christmas

I had a "Girls Night Out" last night. The ladies of Wynne Baptist Church hosted A Glorious Gift of Christmas and Ashley Duncan (my cousin)invited me to be her guest. As luck (sorry MM) would have it, MM's basketball game was canceled, so I got to go...one problem...I WAS NOT TAKING THE GIRLS. Time to call in a favor with....The Man. Tim....kept....both....girls....

Okay, composure.

A few pictures..Ashley's table was "A Candy Christmas". It was so pretty. She gave us all a candy cane at our seat with the history of the candy cane.

Ashley's table again, her sister Erin is sitting and her mom Sandy is standing.

My second favorite table was hosted by Dorma Huffstuttler, I love her nativity.

I would say that there were at least 100 women there, I'm guessing. We were served salad, with yummy Parmesan dressing, grilled chicken breast, green bean bundles, baked sweet potato, and carrot cake. Did you hear me, Carrot Cake. I believe I could have taken Sandy out, and took her cake, but, I was in church and I minded my manners. Surprise...it was my first baked sweet potato ever and I liked it. Alot.

Our speaker was Annie Chapman. Wonderful. Her down home country stories and the way she wove them together with the true spirit of Christmas inspiring. She told us a story about her sister, who had too many children, needing a girls night out, how the husband looked like a deer caught in head lights and the children where crying things like, "Don't leave me", etc. It was so funny and so true.

I have my own little story, a brand new one. Sandy and I headed out of the church, she needed a break before helping clean up Ashley's table...she mentions when we get to the van, that these people in the vehicle behind me are staring at her and she thinks the vehicle looks familiar. I didn't look, because I was fishing for my cell, to call Tim, to see if they were home and what they needed. I call Tim and say..."Where are ya'll at?" he says..."Right behind you watching Sandy" How funny. Even funnier...the girls get out, run to the van, I say go tell Tim we'll see him at home...he was gone. Faster than a speeding bullet. I would like to say he "burned rubber", he didn't, he was just EXTREMELY FAST.

I haven't told him enough, how much I appreciate him taking the girls.

I also have to tell Ashley, one more time, Thank you for inviting me. I had a great time.

Rewind...When I first got to the Church, the guest had to wait a few minutes, I stood with Jenni George (Sisson). She says..."Girl, I read your blog everyday and I laugh my butt off!"

Compliments! They go right to your head!

Jenni...get that blog of yours going!
Erin Oguin, Sandy Brawner, Ahsley Duncan the hostess
Three wise men.
Wouldn't be complete without a picture of me and Sandy now would it?

Felize Navidad from Guatemala

Picture Post

I haven't forgotten about my blog, really I haven't. We've been extremely busy at the funeral home and at home AND I had a 2 day migraine so that slowed me down some too...

I'm still busy at work...only pictures (long overdue) today.
Mary Margaret's first Basketball Game in Searcy, she is #25 (There's a good story here...later)

Taylor at church with the adult choir, her choir is called Squared. Kicking off Global Impact

Don't be jealous of my picture taking skills


I might be in trouble for this one...Tim heading out duck hunting at 4:30 am

Fireproof

Thanksgiving was great. I have pictures, which are on my camera, which is at HOME. So, Thanksgiving post will be later.

I had promised the girls that we would go this week to see the movie Fireproof. Have you heard of it? I was told that this was a movie for couples.

Take your teens to see this movie. Mary Margaret was mesmerized. This movie shows the bad and good part of relationships, how to rectify relationships, parent/child relationship, friend relationship...how to handle this all in a Christian way.

Mary Margaret really needed to see this movie, with dating and driving coming soon. I pray that she uses her head and remembers what I've tried so hard to instill in her. Taylor seems to show no interest in boys yet.

Who did I take (I invited Tim he was working) Me, Mary Margaret, Taylor, Philip (nephew) and Mrs. Butler, my mother-in-law. The whole group agreed. Great movie. We had a great time. Mary Margaret asked me questions through out the movie and I loved whispering back and forth with her...no teen tension at all, no rolling eyes, rolling head. Whoop Whoop!

The girls spent Wednesday with their Taylor Grandparents and their mother, Kellie Ann was there this time. They haven't seen her since July. She wrote them both a note. To Taylor, she said that she loved her and hoped to she her more often. To Mary Margaret she said she loved her, hoped to see her more, can't wait to get a job so that Mary Margaret can move in with her, and hopes that Mary Margaret knows that it is not our fault (MM and Kellie Ann's) fault that she can't see them. Taylor talked to me about her letter. Mary Margaret hasn't.

I hate the knot that I have in my gut when they've seen her.

~Proximidade Award~

I received this award from Emma at Musings of the Mindless Banterer,go check her out and tell her I sent you. Thank you Emma for thinking of me. Emma and I became friends during the time that I was trying to decide whether or not to join Wynne Baptist.

To translate the gift from Portuguese to English, it means:"This blog invests and believes, the proximity[meaning, that blogging makes us 'close' -being close through proxy]. "

Someone said to me the other day that it is stupid to put yourself out there to so many strangers...

Well, I think he's wrong. I love reading your blogs. I treasure each blog friend I have made...

So, I'll get on with this award thingy...

Once this award is received, it then must be paid forward to 8 other bloggers!!! That's it...no other rules!!! Yay!!! Here are my nominations for the Proximidade Award...

The envelope please...

1. Joanna ~ my newest blog friend at Bugs In My Teeth

2. Pat ~ at Clay and Wattles

3. My Tweet Friend and fellow GNOer SuperJaim

4. Jocosta ~ another tweet friend and fellow GNOer Princess and The Peas

5. Jyl ~ Co-founder of GNO Mommy Gossip and her personal Blog...Mommy Gossip

6. Carissa ~ Co-Founder of GNO Mommy Gossip and her personal Blog Good & Crazy People

7. Sandy ~ She does a great job with keeping family close, visit her at Sandy's Pearrls She has a cool new header too..

8. Dianne ~ Country & Lovin It Raising boys and she has a chicken lovin husband AND she's a GNO newbie!!!!

Frustration Continued

Ring Ring
"Good Morning, thank you for calling Mercy Health, how may I direct your call?"
"I would like to talk to someone in billing."
"Hold"
....
....
....
....
"You will need to call this 800 number....blah blah blah"

******************************************************

Ring Ring ring ring
"Thank you for calling Mercy Health, you are a very important customer, press one if you are a policy holder, press 2 if you are an agent"
1
(Elevator COWBOY Music) Thank you for holding, we appreciate your patience, we are all currently engaged with other policy holders, again we value your patience.
More music
24.5minutes later I hang up.
Call that Arkansas Office again...
Same girl, same spill.
Call the 800 number again
17.3 minutest later I've decided to call the St. Louis office and this is what I get... Thank you for calling Mercy Health, where you are a valued customer, we are all currently busy now with the lucky customer that called just before you did. Leave you name and number and we will try our best to call you back.
What?
Furiously I dial again and put on speaker phone so that all the office may hear this wonderful recording and FORTHELOVEOFPEANUTBUTTER a real live person, Brandi.

Brandi informs me that there was a malfunction with the NEW COMPUTER program and no one's October payment went through. I tell her that the woman at the bank said my payment got drafted, she said get proof. Okey dokey I will. By the way I held for 41.8 minutes on the 800 number to FINANCE and no one answered the phone. Then I called your number and got this recording...I repeated it...she said HOW EMBARRASSING, Oh, I'm so sorry.

Bank: Wrong, it wasn't drafted, she was reading where I deposited that money.

Um, I think I spent it. Oops.

Joanna at Bugs In My Teeth...I'll take that chocolate

Emma, the kids always fight when you are frustrated or talking on the phone, its like THEIR JOB or something. I daily wish 13 kids for each of them. I'll be moving to Dubai (look it up, it sounds great!) where they can't find me.

Dubai

*********************************************************
Retraction. I will not be going to Dubai. $2,450.31 A NITE just to stay in the Hotel there. I guess I just hide at Wal-Mart.

Frustration

Frustration: Health Insurance Company sends bill that says...Do not pay this, this will be drafted on November 25, 2008 from your bank account on file.

Double the normal amount

Because there is a past due amount

EVEN THOUGH IT IS AUTOMATICALLY DRAFTED EACH MONTH

How can you owe a previous amount when its drafted automatically?

When did I find this out? In the mail today on the 24th of November, remember its getting double drafted on the 25th.

Run inside and call the insurance company and I get this...

"Thank you for calling Mercy Health. All associates are busy with the lucky customer that called just before you. Please leave and message and will try our best to call you back."

What???????????

To be continued.

P.S. Frustration is also having KIDS fighting every FIVE SECONDS.

Another Day In The Life of a Funeral Home Secretary

Just another day in the the exciting life of a funeral home secretary (really just the morning part).

Phone call 1st thing this morning:

Boss: Hurry to the hospital, they are sending Phyllis to Memphis. Get with her. I'll get there as soon as I can.
Me: Oh my gosh, I thought she was better! I'm on my way.
Me to Co-Worker: I think I 'm going to Memphis with Phyllis. Give me your phone, mines dead.
CW: OK

Jump in the van and hurry the short distance to the hospital. Speed park crooked in the only space available at the opposite end of where I need to be.

Run to room 26B

Phyllis looks up and says..
PK: What are you doing here, not that I'm not glad to see you.
ME: I'm going to Memphis with you.
PK: When am I going there and what for?
ME: BK told me to get with you and he would be here as soon as possible.
PK: I'm not going to Memphis, IM GOING HOME.
ME: Oh.
PK: Well sh**.
ME: Um, I guess I'll take you home.
PK: Well, Thank you.

I step out of her room so she can finish getting dressed, cause you know I busted up in the room without knocking.

I call the office and tell what's happened.

I will not be making the trip to Memphis. Whew.

*********************************************************
MM's first ball game is tonight. I'm not nervous about the game. I'm nervous about the fact that she has to RIDE the BUS all the way to SEARCY. Also, she tried on her uniform this morning...I need a tissue...my baby is growing up. It seems just like yesterday when she was standing in front of the Christmas Tree with her eyes closed telling me that I can't see her touching the tree because she can't see me. It seems just like yesterday when she sat down so gently by the sleeping Taylor and rubbed her little bald head with her hand and said.."My Baby"

Knotted up stomach on top of the UNNEEDED STRESS of going to Memphis with Phyllis.


Again, I know you all want to be me.

Say What?

The local radio station has a program called "Tradio" where people call and offer things for sale or trade.

Tim listens to this show faithfully. Today, the last caller, cracked him up and the announcer...

"Hello, Tradio"
"Um, I have some Rooster Eggs for sale, 870-238-****"
"Well, Okay, Rooster Eggs for sale. That's the last call of the day folks, join us again tomorrow."

announcer after show...

"Um, folks, I don't believe I've ever had rooster eggs."

*********************************************************
Last night at Wal-Mart, MM picks up some gum and says, to me and check out person,

"This has ZERO sugars, that's like better than Sugar Free."
Looks at us for a while..."Oh, that is sugar free."
I could literally see the light bulb switch on in her head.

Hot Chocolate

We made our first batch of Hot Chocolate Friday.


Hot Chocolate

1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup HERSHEY'S Cocoa
Dash salt
1/3 cup hot water
4 cups (1 qt.) milk
3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
Miniature marshmallows or sweetened whipped cream(optional)
Directions:
1. Stir together sugar, cocoa and salt in medium saucepan; stir in water. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until mixture comes to a boil. Boil and stir 2 minutes. Add milk; stirring constantly, heat to serving temperature. Do Not Boil.

2 Remove from heat; add vanilla. Beat with rotary beater or whisk until foamy. Serve topped with marshmallows or whipped cream, if desired. Five 8-oz. servings.

You will notice that I used a enormous pan, you should use a smaller one. I had planned to double the batch and decided not to at the last minute.
Also, this is a different recipe than the first one I posted...I forgot to buy the chocolate squares and had to go with ingredients that I had on hand.

My secret weapon? Mexican Vanilla smuggled across the border by a friend of my in-laws. They gave all us girls a bottle of it....ITS WONDERFUL.


Hot Chocolate=Happy Kids

Would you like to know what YARM13YOL was saying to Taylor through clinched teeth? It takes 37 muscles to frown, and 22 muscles to smile, so Kaye-Kaye has been right all these years, it's better to smile than frown.

Can you tell she's been hitting the books? She wants to stay on the Basketball team! Gotta get that Science grade up!

I'd Like You to Meet...

Sitting quietly in our booth at the local Mexican Restaurant, a couple with 1 child around 6, 3 toddlers and 1 infant is being seated directly across from us. The children are darling.

I'd like you to meet the family where the children acted better than the parents.

Dad says loudly "I'm getting Don Jose' Nachos, I don't care if the rest of ya'll eat or not!" Then starts hollering almost the second they are seated at the children to be quiet and sit down.

I honestly could not figure out which of the children he was hollering at to sit down and be quiet, because all 3 toddlers sat down immediately with the help of big brother and said NOTHING, the infant appeared to be sleeping.

This is going to be a fun Friday night dinner. I'm listening to YARM13YOL rattle on about school things (she's not bothering me at all, its the added STUPIDNESS of the Dad next door) and now this loud ridiculous man, until HELLO Mom walks up to the table from the bathroom where she's been since they walked in. She says loudly to the 6ish year old "I told you I didn't want to sit by the girls, get up and switch" (Are you serious? Mom is going to make Big Brother take care of the toddlers? This is a HUGE pet peeve of mine.)

Mom sits down and...

you are not going to believe this...

STARTS KNITTING.

She's making her 6 year old take care of toddlers so she can KNIT WHILE EATING OUT.

Constantly they were both telling the kids to stop it, be quiet, etc. I could not hear those kids. They could not have been bothering anyone.

Time to order. Dad gets his nachos, Mom gets this huge open face burrito an enchilada, they order for the kids.... a plate of chicken and rice to SHARE and a taco for the 6 year old and tell him he can have some chip and salsa with his meal when it comes. (chip and salsa is FREE)

Food comes, 6 year old reaches for a chip...Dad, FORTHELOVEOFPEANUTBUTTER, tells this child, "You do not get the first chip and you do not get put your hand in the basket before ME."

Mom, bless her heart, is being so good, she's not paying attention at all to the kids, but she is managing to knit and eat.

Thank goodness we were finished with our meal. I could not have listened to much more. Much more and I would have been asking you all to send me money for my new cause..."Cause Kaye's In Jail" and send homemade cookies to the county jail.

Tip: How to Avoid Work at Work

You must work at a funeral home with folks that remember THE WAR for this tip to work. I'm talking about WWII, which, here at this funeral home seems to be the only war that COUNTS.

Yes, Dianne, counting pens yesterday was WORK. Because I SAID SO.

Today, this day has INCHED by like a slimy little snail. In comes Boss #1 with a wedding invitation in his hand. (ME to ME, Yes, I have struck gold!!! I can tell right away that this invitation will involve INTERNET RESEARCH.

Boss #1: Google Quest this church in Memphis and get me a map with step by step instructions, then Google Quest this Museum in Memphis and get me a map with step by step instructions.
Me:(I was right) Yes, Sir!!! Let me get the laptop!!!
Boss #1: I'm taking my wife to this wedding and she doesn't know anything about Memphis.

Research done on MAP QUEST.

Me: Boss #1, I have the maps for you. Didn't you go to Rhodes College in Memphis?
(this is the tip....distract by asking personal questions about "back in the day")
Boss #1: Oh, yeah, I can find those places. I remember when I was going to Rhodes College, you see THE WAR was on and we used to study all night, get hungry, run down this road here (imagine him showing me the map really really close to my eyes) to the Brothel House.
Me: WHAT? (me to me, why do I need to know this information? gag)
Boss #1: We would run down to the Brothel House, best fun I ever had.
Me: O My goodness a Brothel House? Um, I don't want to hear this.
Boss #1: I said TOTTLE HOUSE.
Me: ???? What's that?
Boss #1: Like a Pancake House.
Me: (whew!) Oh, sorry I heard you wrong.
Boss #1: We would run down there and eat breakfast at 12 am in the morning. Then get up for choir because we had chapel everyday at 8 am, and blah blah blah blah

30 minutes later

Boss #1: and so there were 19 girls in that dormitory because THE WAR was on and blah blah blah blah

15 minutes later

Boss #1: That was how I got to see my first Opera during THE WAR because I was first in line to usher when the plays and operas came to Memphis to the City Auditorium (Now the Convention Center)
Me: Wow, that's interesting.

Let me point out, where I typed blah blah blah...I was listening to him, because these were stories I haven't heard before. I just do not have the time to type it all.

45 minutes of avoiding work at work.

Secretary #2 tries to look busy so as not to get caught. Sometimes, though, I use my skills to avoid work.

I forgot to mention this...

Last week ONE OF THE BOSSES called me Ambrosia instead of Kaye.

I know you all are jealous of me...I like my job, so stay back! They'll have to burn me out.

A Day In the Life of a Funeral Home Secretary

Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when we ...blah blah blah
Funeral Home, several weeks ago.

An order of pens come in and the town is spelled wrong. I called the company immediately. SOMEONE gets all in knots when something this STUPID happens. The customer service rep, Larry, says, "Kaye, we are going to chunk those pens, why don't you keep them?" Me, not wanting to write a 2000 word detailed explanation as to why the pen company messed up, devised a plan to keep this from SOMEONE (the boss). Me, 3 other employees and the other owner of the funeral home all agree to hide the pens and not mention it to THE BOSS. New pens come in and all is well.

Today...
Boss #1 to me: Kaye, call this company and order some refills for those pens and order more pens in black.
Me: Okay, I'll get this done tomorrow. (I'm balancing the check book and obviously do not look busy.)
Boss #2 (whom I'm not speaking to after this went down): Hey, Kaye, why don't we use those pens we got in that were messed up for the refills?
(ME TO ME: OMG, I can't believe he just said that, he was the main one that wanted to keep the pen issue quiet).
Me to Boss #2: Um, I don't remember any pens other than these that has no problems.
Boss #2: Sure you remember, we discussed that the city was spelled wrong and that we had better...oh. Um.
Boss #1: What are ya'll talking about? No one told me about messed up pens. That's why it took so dang long to get them in.
Boss #2: No, we got the replacements like 2 or 3 days after the wrong ones came in.
Boss #1: WHAT PENS?
Boss #2: Tell him Kaye.
--Let me point out that ALL my backup and partners in crime were OFF today.--
Me: Well, I do remember some pens coming in and they told us to chunk them. I think we put them in the music room to keep them from getting mixed up with the good ones.
Boss #1: Why didn't I know about this?
Me: You were gone to Memphis.
Boss #1: Why were the pens messed up? Did you fill out the form wrong? Why does no one ever tell me anything about MY FUNERAL HOME. I guess I'm gonna have to start doning everything myself.
Me: You filled out the form. The Pen company messed up.
Boss #1: Well, if I filled out the form, we know there wasn't a mistake. Write them a letter and find out why the mistake was made.
(ME sending telepathic thoughts to Boss #2, I'm not talking to you anymore. You are not going to be in on any more secrets.)

Boss #1 leaves.
Boss #2 looks at me, face red, "I'm sorry, I forgot."
Me to Boss #2: Now you have to bring back all those pens you took home.
Boss #2: I gave some away.

Quiet Afternoon? Nope

On the ride home tonight...
(I was not involved in this conversation, I just listened)

YARM13YOL: I just can't wait until the first game.
Taylor: I'm getting a frosty.
YARM13YOL: They don't turn on the air in the gym.
Taylor: I'm gonna start laying eggs soon.
YARM13YOL: Anyways, I'm always cold hot sweaty during practice.
Taylor: That happens right before I period.
YARM13YOL: Chandley is a Tom Boy
Taylor: Julia is moving to Florida if there is anymore violence at school.
YARM13YOL: That's impossible, Julia's not moving.
Taylor: Do we have plans on Friday?
YARM13YOL: Basketball shoes are $55.
Taylor: I hope I eat lunch tomorrow.
YARM13YOL: Don't forget we get to watch Ballet Shoes tonight.
ME: We are not watching movies.
Taylor: Hair grows from under your arms, I know this because it happened to me. I told them so in class.
YARM13YOL: I don't think my deodorant worked today.
Taylor:(giggling uncontrollably) I think you stink bad, like Kaye's breath in the morning.
YARM13YOL: I have to wear my undershirt in basketball to keep from getting hot.
Taylor: I told my health teacher that she needed the shirt that says BABY BUMP. She said OOOOOKKKKKAAAAYYYYY Taylor. I think she will get a shirt and think of me every time she wears it.

**Is it illegal for the driver to jump from the moving car?**

Holiday Traditions and Recipes

Southern Traditions:
Cutting a fresh tree from the woods (trespassing)
- The tree usually ends up being 3 times bigger than what you thought so you spend the rest of the day trimming the tree before you can get it inside.
Shooting fresh Mistletoe from the trees
Constantly vacuuming because the tree sheds...

And then there's Dinner...Thanksgiving or Christmas take your pick...
Homemade Yeast Rolls
Sweet Tea
Green Bean Casserole that no one eats, but gotta have on the table
Candied Sweet Potatoes
Cranberry Sauce (why is it sauce, its more like jelly? Just wondering)
And for the main course...see the below picture of my dad...

Okay, we really don't eat opossum, but hey, he caught one alive and the Christmas lights were all aglow...

Seriously...
I'm sure that you all know how quickly the Holidays can sneak up and before you know you are scrambling for just the right gift and groceries. Those wonderful ingredients to make that one special dish that you, your spouse, kids, Uncle Harry, Aunt Millie, or Cousin Bob just can't live without at Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner, a tradition.

Every year for 32 years, the same tree was put together and decorated on December 6, my birthday, pop corn strings were made and hot chocolate topped it off. Three years ago, I had to give up the tree and buy a new one. No tree will ever be as beautiful to me as the one I grew up with. Keeping tradition, we still put the tree up and decorate it on December 6 and there is always hot chocolate.

My brother Andy and I at Christmas in Malvern, Arkansas 1978...my other brother Scottie was just a bun in the oven at this time.


Hot Chocolate
2 1-ounce squares unsweetened chocolate
1/4 cup sugar
Dash of Salt
1 cup water
4 cups milk
Combine chocolate, sugar, salt, and water in saucepan. Stir over low heat till chocolate melts. Gradually stir in milk; heat slowly just to boiling. Beat with rotary beater. Serve in heated cups. Makes 5 cups.

The start of my holidays is usually with the Cheese Log. The cheese log is one of my favorite Thanksgiving Snacks. I love to pop in the movie Miracle on 34th Street and sit with a tall glass of Sweet Tea, my cheese log, and my box of Ritz crackers and enjoy.
Cheese Log
1 pk grated Cheddar cheese
2 8 oz cream cheese
2 buttons garlic chopped very fine
2 cups finely chopped pecans
1/2 tablespoon worchestire sauce
1/2 cup finely chopped celery
Aluminum Foil
Ritz Crackers
*optional - I like to add cubed up ham to the mixture*
All ingredients should be at room temperature.
Mix 1/2 cup and all ingredients together.
Lay out aluminum foil and sprinkle remaining pecans on foil, form the cheese into a log and roll up in the foil and refrigerate until firm.
Serve on Ritz Crackers.

Some may think this odd, one memory I have of Christmas dinner at my Papaw Clark's house...we had shrimp cocktail. It was left over from his the dinner he and his wife had earlier in the day with her children. I had never had shrimp cocktail, and I had certainly not ever seen it served in a wine glass. How classy were we?

What are your holiday traditions? For some fun girl talk and some amazing recipes, join us at twitter.com tonight...sign up by visiting the GNO Blog....

Added MONDAY at 8:51 PM
I posted my recipes
Signed up on Mr. Linky's thingy at GNO Mommy Gossip
Hurried over to Twitter.com
typed in Hello Ladies #GNO

AND NO ONE ANSWERED ME BACK BECAUSE....HELLO...GNO IS ON TUESDAY...

I'm going to bed. This day has totally bit the dust.